Saturday, October 24, 2009

Spot the Desi: fluorescent tube lights, Indians, & hatred

When I was a little kid and my family used to go to India there was one thing I used to hate above all else.... it wasn't the humidity, it wasn't the mosquitoes*, it wasn't even the lack of normal sit-down toilets in some houses... it was fluorescent tube lights

I fucking hate that shit. They are bright and it give every room the ambiance of a hospital. Plus every time you sorta look at one it's as if your retinas are burning off.

But for some reason it seemed like 97% of all Indian households had at least one room illuminated by as tube light. No other ethnicity has embraced a form of light in a similar fashion to Indians and tube lights. It's to the point that when I look at the surrounding buildings around where I live, I can spot which apartments Indians live in just by the tube lights.

The apartments are unmistakable based upon the piercing blue-ish white light erupting from their windows. Most normal homes have a nice warm yellow light. Not desis. We need fluorescent because it makes the text from math book just jump out and shine!

See you can just count that at least 5 of the apartments are filled with desis (those windows circled in green).

Now I know what a lot of you are saying, "aren't there like a lot of Indian people in your 'hood?" Well that's besides the point. The ones with fluorescent tube lights are definitely Indian.


* Okay I'll admit, mosquitoes were by far THE worst. If I wasn't writing this dramatic piece of prose there's no doubt that mosquitoes would be tops of my hate list. There was nothing worst then waking up to having bites between your fingers and toes and generally feeling swollen. However my aunts used to make me feel better by making some bogus claim that I had "sweet blood" and hence attracted all the bloodsucking night crawlers.

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7 comments:

Kristine Akemi said...

dude shakes. not only indians have love for flourescent lighting...japanese do too!! i had to REALLY push my husband to get "normal" lighting -- the white light is just not soothing. so we compromised on "fake normal" lighting -- basically all the earth saving, low cost benefits of flourescent with the nice warm yellow glow of conventional light blubs -- the japanese call it coventional light bulb-colored flourescent blubs....strange.

i think the addiction also comes from the nice buzzing and flickering from flourescent blubs.

Shakes said...

maybe it's some sorta asian thing? on a sidenote when i was smaller i always imagined that buzzing sound was because there were bees stuck inside. buzzing. as they are wanton to do.

人妻 said...

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サイドビジネス said...

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Hチェッカー said...

みんなで楽しめるHチェッカー!簡単な設問に答えるだけであなたの隠されたH度数がわかっちゃいます!あの人のムッツリ度もバレちゃう診断を今すぐ試してみよう

Shakes said...

If anyone can translate the prior three comments I'd give them 100 yen, my top 3 guesses:
1) "fluorescent lights are the wave of the future!"
2) "Hello I'm a Nigerian king and we have a large amount of money which has been placed in your name. All you need to redeem it is to give your social security and credit card number"
3) "Godzilla Viagara!"

Radical said...

I worked at a hardward store in california all the indian people that came in would always ask for tubelights, not the yellow ones but the bright white. For some reason always wanting to mount the fixture in the most janky way possible on the wall with a screw driver because its some natural penominon that indians dont own power tools. and finaly american flourescent light fixture are 90% of the time made to be hard wired into the electrical which was a big NO NO NO little head shake thing. enlighten me.