Sunday, August 16, 2009

The British 20th Century: A poor 100 years

When I went for a 2006 World Cup match in Germany between England and Portugal the scene was absolutey incredible. If you didnt know better you'd think that Gelsenkirchen was a city in England. With the exception of a corner of Portuguese fans the stadium was full of King George flags.

English fans travel for their country. Anywhere and everywhere. Which brings us to the tragic twist to our story: the English teams tend to lose on the biggest stage.

It's sad really to have such a passionate people spend so much of their time and money only to be disappointed. Usually by penalty kicks or Boston Tea Parties. And the funny thing is that most of them expect to be defeated and yet still travel.

If the British were involved in the first moon landing the craft would've gone horribly awry and missed the moon altogether.

People on Earth would be watching on a fuzzy TV reception while the H.M.S. Apollo 7 moves towards its crescent target. Meanwhile the British fans would be there on the moon. Already. Cheering their craft on, waving flags, wearing garish costumes, and creating a general mess of the place by throwing cans of beer all about and vomiting into lunar craters. With success looking possible the punters would be thrown into a tearful frenzy as they'd watch a sure point squandered away as the spaceship misses wide right and veers towards the dark void of space as the English fail yet again.

-- Posted while roaming about

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Quite Hillarious!
Quite.