Friday, June 26, 2009

the Brown Card / how tan are you?

Some of the most difficult questions that humans can ask about ourselves and the world around us are times very very basic ones:

- How does the strong nuclear force work and keep an atom's nucleus from splitting apart?
- Why does e, the natural log, appear so often in nature?
- Why weren't cargo pants invented earlier?

In the Indian World the main question that all desis ask is much simpler...it isn't the questions above. We know math. Oh we know math all right. You don't need to tell a brown person twice about natural logs to get them excited.

But I digress.

No no no, this Indian Question hits much more to the core of humanity.

When meeting new people, this question is there.
When reading someone's biodata, this question appears.
When discussing others behind their backs, this question prevails...

The Question?

...WHAT DOES A "WHEATISH" SKIN TONE LOOK LIKE?

Well my friends ask no longer, because for a limited time, I present to you:


Indian people come in all shades in brown. A cornucopia of colors if you will. But for whatever reason there is a taboo (like in so many progressive cultures...) against saying you're anything more than slightly dark brown. But how do you tell your skin color then?

Well wait no more. Desis against all chromatic odds, come in only two shades: Fair and Wheatish.
Fair of course is the easy one. It's not really a character judgment so much as it's a view that a person is pigmentally challenged.

On the flip side desis have found a shade of brown and clung onto it. The shade: "wheatish."

So I ask again, what the hell is "wheatish" ?

Now I've this phrase ever since I was a little kid, but the fact is when you meet people how are you supposed to compare people skin tone to this specialized cultivated grass? Well my friends, wonder no more. With the patented Brown Card (now with 27 shades of brown!) you can compare people you meet in bars, clubs, and your local paan stand with the shades from the card...and PRESTO! You can see if they're really Wheatish as they claim or more like Russet or Bole.


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3 comments:

K. said...

LOL...this is SO FUNNY...I think I fall in the "Bronze" patch...

Shakes said...

haha, i think i'm more of a sienna man myself

Kalpesh said...

I am fallow, well 'wheatish' is not as bad as 'gavhaal' in marathi, try the word at the 'Marathi Mandal'!