At work the issue of relationships occasionally comes up....
Me: Has anyone been to Oyster Bay?
Co-worker #1: Yeah it's real cool, it's kinda like the place "The Great Gatsby" was set in
Me: Hmm. Gatsby
Co-worker #2: Yeah it's pretty cool.
Assistant: Where you guys talking about Oyster Bay?!?! I LOVE OYSTER BAY!!
Co-worker #2: Yeah
Assistant: ...Teddy Roosevelt has his home there. I have a TOTAL crush on Teddy!
Me: You do realize that he's dead right? Like he's no longer alive
Assistant: I know I know. But it's just a thing
Me: Whoa. I mean....like so what you're saying is that you have a crush on a historical figure?
Co-worker #2: Put that on the list of things that won't ever happen.
Me: (turning to another assistant): Millie, who's your historical crush?
Assistant #2: Napoleon.
Me: Millie Bonaparte. It has a nice ring to it.
At the Clip Joint in the mall getting my hair cut:
Barber (not the one cutting my hair): "You can tell when a little girl has lice because if she has long hair and the mom wants to cut it more than half off....you KNOW that girl has lice. Real mommas don't do that to their kids"
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