Sunday, April 5, 2009

peeing, Beth Israel Hospital, & George Clooney

So there I was walking around in Union Square and I had to go to the bathroom. It's a common situation that I find myself, I have to go to the bathroom several times a day, and on occasion it is in fact #2.

Well I could've gone in Virgin Records, but that's not a place you really wanna really go to the bathroom. There's an awkward line and everything is always wet.

So in that moment genius hit...my general hospital, Beth Israel is across the street and figured I'd just go there...casually walk up to the 3rd floor where my doctor was and use some bathroom.

The problem with my plan is that on the weekends on the general doctor offices are closed and so when I arrived on the 3rd floor I was greeted by a floor of dark rooms...that were locked. It's at this point I realized that all the bathrooms aren't in the main corridors, but behind locked doors.

As I wandered through I noticed a door ajar by the X-ray machine room/branch. So I walked through it and figured and started randomly walking through an area I was definitely not supposed to be in. Partially because it was the back offices, and partially because most of the lights were off. I sorta felt like James Bond, minus the element of life threatening danger. Instead of imminent death my adventure was filled by the much more dramatic element of "I might get in trouble if spotted and not be able to pee."

In some circles not being able to pee is life of death. In some circles.

Well I did manage to find a bathroom, availed of the facilities, and as I was walking out unnoticed I reached for the handle of the main branch door (the unlocked one that allowed me to walk through) when a hospital worker in at the same time. He looked at me oddly. Surely the game was up....
Hospital Guy: Hey there
Me: Hey! how goes it?"
(when in doubt be overly confident and enthusiastic)
Hospital Guy: Hey... do you work here?
Me: Oh yeah, I forgot something here yesterday so was just getting it
Hospital Guy: Great

...and then for some reason I inextricably added "Oh, by the way, one of the lights by the main X-ray machine looks to be out." I have no idea why I said this. Maybe it's because I started feeling like George Clooney and the Beth Israel Hospital was a casino from "Ocean's 11"

The weirder thing is that I don't even know what "the main X-ray machine" is. Hell if I know whether they have one main machine or not.

And that is my Sunday adventure.


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