Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Things I Hate #126: Plane Tatti

Flying on planes is fun. They make you go in the air.
Going to the bathroom in the proper situation can also be relieving.

But flying and going to the bathroom are not fun. It's a scientific fact. There are three main reason for this:
  1. Not enough maneuvering space in the plane lavatory (which as a small kid I thought was just the word "laboratory" misspelled)
  2. Everyone from rows 8 through 35 knows how long you've been in the bathroom (first class has their own bathroom that we are not supposed to use)
  3. They smell
One of the things I learned from my math class on partial derivatives class was that if you can't solve for all the variables, you control for those you can. And in this case the only one you can control is #3....well partially (insert "chuckle chuckle" here).

The top way to control airplane bathroom smells is to not use them... or at least minimize your usage. So why in the hell do some people insist on using the bathroom right when they board the plane?

Listen, ass, there are perfectly good ones in the terminal, use those. Why would you prefer to use a small one in a flying metal capsule that is going to now haul your tatti around world. Keep it at the airport!

This is a lose-lose situation. It is not Pareto Optimal. It cannot be said that someone is made better without harming anyone else. In fact I would go as far as to say that it's Pareto Sub-Optimal, everyone is made worse by someone making a shitty decision. Literally.

Do I get overly annoyed by minor issues that don't require a 500 word essay? Maybe. But do I speak the truth on behalf of the muted masses? Always.

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