Saturday, December 13, 2008

Drinks on a Plane, Part 2: Ordering drinks on a plane

Now that we have established the Taco Bell Postulate, the concept that a limited number of mathematical options can be trumped by the will of humans has been firmly established.

More importantly my ode to Taco Bell shows that not only is possible to an infinite number of permutation from a finite number of ingredients, but we value it.

Taco Bell has more R&D then most recession hit automakers.

And so with that comes the natural issue of ordering drinks on a plane. When the beverage cart rolls around I always feel a sense of one upsmanship on what to order.

When the steward rolls down the aisle there are several dynamics at work. On one hand you're thirsty, that is a given. But on the other hand the other 3 people in your row with whom you're rubbing elbows with (but never speaking to) will have only three points to judge you on during the whole flight.... assuming you don't smell very badly, which clearly will trump the others:
  1. Assuming you're not in the window seat, when they have to use the loo, do you get out of your seat and temporarily stand in the aisle, or do you make them go over you while sitting down?
  2. What clothes are you wearing?
  3. What are you ordering for your drink!
Constructing broad character sketches out of three random items is a tactic used by only two types of people: passengers and Indian people.

But I digress.

Coke is always an easy option. Ordering water is just sheer stupidity because the water is so freaking cold it increases your propensity to pee much more so than other drinks. And we all know my views towards using the lavatory on the plane.

Lately I've started the new trend of getting orange juice. OJ has taste and it is distinguishing. The problem is that it's a total crapshoot. If you're flying on some shoddy airlines like Alitalia or at times Delta (which is like being on a flying bus with its plastic seats minus the ambiance) the OJ may be overly sour. I mean it's not like I expect anything to be freshly squeezed, but this is going to be tooo concentrated. Your only option at this point is to get ice to dilute it. But this will bring us back to the water sitch, where it's too cold.

The winning choice, after years of research and personal trials, the champagne of soda. Yes, the one and only (or as I heard at some random Indian show several years ago "...the one and one-ly...") Ginger Ale.

Ordering Ginger Ale usually causes one of your other row-mates to change their order OR at least nod approvingly. We're not looking for a ticker tape parade with our choice, just an acknowledgment that given a limited set of choices that were available to everyone, you still won.

And after all, isn't it all about winning?

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1 comment:

ZenDenizen said...

It will help prevent you from puking on yourself, too. Good choice.