Monday, September 29, 2008

this is what the phrase "oh fucking shit here we go again" looks like in a numeric schematic

Yeah when everything is red in the "Net Change" column that don't feel so good. today's massively vomitous Dow drop of -778 points is the worst of all time. While all point drops are relative, and the market has dropped more than today's epic -6.98%, it's not exactly much of a silver lining....afterall the S&P drop of -8.79% is the worst since Black Monday in 1987.


This is what it looks like when people in DC dick around and shmucks think that a Fed rescue package is just being done to bail out Wall Street. I'm sorry, but worrying about executive compensation is missing the much bigger picture. If normal people can't get loans, can't safely invest their money, and generally aren't able to work for companies that can, that's a bad thing for everyone.

When Christmas time comes and you see stores having massive shortages, you'll know the reason why: Companies are not able to borrow money now to pay for goods that they can sell later; if you can only afford to pay for things that you can sell right away then you will never be able to build up supplies.

You think I'm pissed? Yeah I'm pissed. I just used a fucking semi-colon in that last sentence without you guys even noticing it. That's how I pissed I am.

I'm 97% sure that it wasn't even the appropriate usage of one, I was just trying to prevent a run-on sentence that Mrs. Wesley in 6th grade used to warn me about. Suck on that Mrs. Wesley. Suck on that.

Now the dipfucks will mess around for at least 3 days doing nothing....until at some point they provide a bill which is less effective.

Finally who is the assclown that thinks a $700bn bill means that it's going to cost Americans $700bn? Idiots. The money is being used to buy physical assets. Unless the value of every single home they purchase falls to zero, there's no way they're going to come close to a cost of that amount. Meanwhile we have fucktard Congressmen who ask "well Secretary Paulson, how much will this cost?" Well here's a newsflash Einstein, the cost or profit is simply going to be the difference between where we bought the assets and where we ultimately sell them. If you don't know when you're gonna sell them you can't ever know what the cost is. But what you CAN know is that if we're buying shit at firesale prices, at times below the cost of the raw materials to make a house, it's a pretty good sign that there's only upside to be had.

And why can't private companies do this?....Because they have to report these assets on their balance sheet every quarter. Quite simply they can't afford to just have these assets sit their for 2-3 years while their value rises. Governments don't have to worry about that. Besides, companies that do have these assets are being destroyed by the stock market for no good reason. The numbers simply don't make sense, and yet anyone with a hint of even a little bit of exposure is watching their stock price tank in the double digits.

The government isn't going to buy all the loans, but they're going to buy some to start creating a pricing floor. Once a real functioning market is nurtered private money can come off the sidelines. That's the key. Otherwise in the meantime you have bids on property at like 10 cents on the dollar....not because someone has done a bunch of analysis and ascertained that the true value of a foreclosesd home in Ohio is 11 cents on the dollar and they're going to make a 1 cent profit....but rather because there is no other buyer. If you have no competition and you're bidding on something you're gonna bid a pretty low price.

Haven't you watched "The Price Is Right" before? Some moron from New Mexico wins half of the bids from Contestant's Row because they put in a bid of $1. It's not because they really think that the Espresso Maker that Barker's beauties just modeled is really worth a buck. Look I don't like blank checks to any Federal agency, but doing nothing would be criminal.

The Nikkei is down 4.64% in Asian trading and Dow Futures (basically a contract where people can take views on where they think our market will open up at tomorrow morning) are flat. Global badness.

deep breath. deep breath.

There, I'm done. Only 8 more hours until I'm back at work.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Signs you're eating with desis: #14

One of the time honored traditions of any good Indian parental unit, namely the mom, is to reduce every meal you have at a restaurant as being some derivative of a basic Indian dish.

In essence this is the food version of the Indian mom tendency of pointing out that all the cool clothes in the mall are really made in India and instead of buying it now "we can just get it next time we go to Bombay." Uhh, no offense but Cotton World and Armani have very little in common.

But back to my original point, every time you eat a new dish, you parents try to convince that it's just an Asian, Thai, American, or French version of something that can be made at home. For example:
  • Shephard's Pie - alloo and kheema
  • Pizza - dosa with tomato, kheema, and capsicum (we do NOT say bell peppers in front of Indians...ever!)
  • Cheesecake - a form of paneer
  • Hakka noodles - hakka noodles...don't you know that Indian Chinese cuisine is better than regular Chinese food?
  • Crepes - masala dosa
The purpose of finding the Indian roots in things which have no Indian lineage whatsoever is to make you feel like Indian things are cool and not so weird from things kids would normally like.

Of course this never seems to work because instead of enjoying Indian things on their own merit, you end up not liking it as much because it's Pizza really isn't like a dosa...and Cheesecake is, well, a bit better than paneer (okay, not by much, but work with me here).

That irony is that things which are far better than their American counterparts are products no normal parent would rightfully brag about: Thums Up is awesome versus Coke... although I have no idea how they could misspell "Thumb"... and Goldspot was better than any orange soda around these parts.

It's sorta like my Big Fat Greek Wedding, when the father yells out that everything "Is Greek!". So next time you're a restaurant, in Jackson Heights, or just in the state of New Jersey, yell out "that's Indian!" and you're bound to create a cult following with Indian aunties.

Friday, September 26, 2008

what the fuck....do I stutter?

Ladies and gentlemen, the potential VP of the US of A.



By the way, Katie Couric, you rock. Her calm questioning demeanor doesn't hide the fact that she's about 1000x times smarter than Palin. Palin for her part sounds like every stuttering kid I ran into in high school during speech and debate and MUN who didn't research enough.

Is this all just a very very bad dream?

Thursday, September 25, 2008

politics, the US Open, & jacked up hair

...and we're back. Sorry for the break, but I couldn't help but vomit uncontrollably during this whole Fed-bailout-Dem vs. Republican-John McCain acting like he's saving the day- shenanigans. The whole thing is becoming borderline pathetic.

But be that as it may, here's an observation I had from a few weeks ago.... So I was at the US Open and while sitting in the hot sun I noticed the haircut of the guy in front of me. How jacked up is the tapering job on the back of his head!

I mean not to be mean or anything but allow me to accentuate how fucked up the back is with a closeup. I'm sorry dude but if you're gonna come to the biggest tennis tournament and wear your little wanker Ferrari hat, you better come with a little bit of a better hair situation.

I know this is a few weeks late but it had to be shown.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

weather markets: part 3

There is a god. There is a light at the end of this tunnel. Or it could just be someone else looking in.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

weather markets: part 2

While things were tremendously busy workwise, the feeling today was akin to taking a concrete block, ramming your head into it, and then trying to walk backwards across a street. Good times all around.

And yes I back-dated this post because by time I got home it was already tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

reaching out to readers

Dear loyal reader(s), I got a note from someone named Anonymous (last name not given) yesterday that my market snapshot from yesterday did NOT enable normal people to understand what the hell was going on that constituted a "bloodbath"

As such I would like to partake in an effort to be more lucid in my discussions with you, the voting reader. Here's a good visual depiction of Monday's activites, in a weather-like iconic picture

Monday, September 15, 2008

Friday, September 12, 2008

"Tatti Booooy," CNBC, & the moon

This post is dedicated to all those people who have sang Air's "Sexy Boy" and replaced the words with "Tattiiii Boooooy"

***
So when I was small and used to go to trips to India... for the brown peeps out there you know what I'm talking about, the kind where you spend the full 3 months of your summer break there....and get homesick I'd look at the moon on some nights and think that that's the same moon that my mom and dad were looking at.

This would make me feel at home. Almost re-assuring to be sharing a mutual experience

Now today I find myself at home (friend's wedding) in LA but up at the crack of dawn watching CNBC and taking some work calls. It made me think that people back at work were also watching CNBC on the floor. Does that mean CNBC has sorta become my moon? Is this a beautiful connection to symbolize that I'm not at work but I'm with my work people. Spiritually, that is.

Or maybe it means that I'm a weebit jet lagged and operating on 3hrs of sleep since I stayed up last night eating In-N-Out and watching TV.

I would take the latter for $500, Alex.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

it's today again.

and the airport was a bit quieter as a I flew home to LA from NY today

Sunday, September 7, 2008

when desis attack 4: "how can she slap!?!"

A lot of you are sitting at home on a Saturday night wondering "man I wonder what it looks like when an Indian guy slaps a girl on a reality TV show and then gets the shit beaten out of him."

This is a weird thought, I must admit, but do not fear, I have just the thing for you:


Saturday, September 6, 2008

"if the rain comes they run and hide their heads...."

Tropical storm Hannah has caused it to rain massively here in New York. The weekend is gonna be a total washout.

[Central Park West, NYC]

If the rain comes they run and hide their heads.

They might as well be dead,
If the rain comes, if the rain comes.

When the sun shines they slip into the shade,
And sip their lemonade,
When the sun shines, when the sun shines.

Ra-ain, I don't mind,
Shi-ine, the weather's fine.

I can show you that when it starts to rain,
(when the rain comes down)
Everything's the same,
(when the rain comes down)
I can show you, I can show you.

Ra-ain, I don't mind,
Shi-ine, the weather's fine.

Can you hear me that when it rains and shines,
(when it rains and shines)
It's just a state of mind,
(when it rains and shines)
Can you hear me, can you hear me

If the rain comes they run and hide their heads
When the sun shines - rai-ain.

- "Rain" by The Beatles


But if you want a great cover of it, I know I'm biased, you can't beat U2...

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

"Hi, I'm Mitt Romney and I got Punk'd by McCain into thinking that I actually had a shot at being named VP"


My favorite part of his speech was when he blamed liberals for ballooning the US Public Debt. Let's go to the facts shall we!

End of
Fiscal Year
US Public Debt
USD billions[19]
% of GDP[21]
1910 2.6
1920 25.9
1930 16.2
1940 43.0 44.2
1950 257.4 80.2
1960 290.2 45.7
1970 389.2 28.0
1980 930.2 26.1
1990 3233 42.0
2000 5674 35.1
2005 7933 37.4
2007 9008 36.8
2008
37.9(est)


So let's examine life since 1980. A large portion of that was under Reagan where the debt rose from $930.2bn to $3,233bn. I'm not saying it was good or bad, I'm just saying that's the fact. We can have discussions on the need for defense spending and the role that played in ending the Cold War but again, facts are the fact.

Meanwhile let's goto 2000, Bush II takes control and the debt balloons from $5,674bn to $9,008bn.

Now we don't need to back out the effect of inflation to see that a large amount of our deficit was done amidst the control of those who generated fear of external threats...

thoughts while flying over the Carolinas

So McCain made the statement that he is not willing to lose a war for the sake of winning an election...how does he reconcile this with his VP pick? She may be a great person and leader, but me a break, we all know why she was chosen.

I'm not saying she should be disqualified because she's not the greatest Republican leader, that's an unfair litmus test, but this moves has all the makings of a Hail Mary being done just to win an election instead of placing the country in the right hands should they need to run the show.

***

By the way isn't the picture cool. It's a picture of a propeller blade which gets captured quite oddly on a camera

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

if Bush endorses you, is that a good thing?

So you're a kid who sucks. Like everyone hates you. A lot. In fact you have the worst approval rating of any sitting President since the Depression...err...there are lots of polls that people don't like this kid. Now how valuable is it for this kid to give you a ringing endorsement?

I would argue that Bush giving his two thumbs up to McCain is not exactly like Abraham Lincoln tapping you on the shoulder saying you're fit for the job.

During all the recent talk about executive experience, President Bush has the most amount in terms of years but I would say he's the least qualified.

***

Also during Bush's most bizarro televised speech what was the deal with people taking pictures of the big screen? The moment I saw flashes I thought it was the dumbest thing ever. I mean do you sit in your living room and take pictures everytime Bush appears? (this picture taken for el bloggo withstanding... I do that for you)

Weirdoes.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Political Lookalikes #2: McCain/Lieberman & The Muppet Show

Man I really wish McCain would've picked Lieberman to be his running mate. Not only would it have made the Republican ticket D.O.A...it would've let me post the following picture:

Well I guess I decided to still post it. I'm just that good.