Saturday, August 2, 2008

Susu Pani/ Pee Time

One of the things which is a normal course of event in my life is observing how people pee on the toilet seat in public bathrooms. Now in my life adventures, no matter how far and wide I travel, I'm only eligible to witness 50% of the bathrooms in the world...although truth be told, unisex restrooms may skew that number slightly.

Now the existence of pee on toilet seats in male restrooms is pretty natural. I mean peeing for us requires the crucial element of aiming. If you can't get a urinal and head for the stalls, you have to make sure you aim properly. The tricky part of course is that usually someone goes to the stall to drop a deuce, so the toilet seat tends to be down. So if you're going to the stall just to pee, the target area is diminished significantly. Thus pee splashback. Especially during those crucial opening and ending moments when control is significantly compromised.

Now on most news sites, the story would end here. But no no no. Not here. Nay I say. This afternoon a friend mentioned that the grossest thing about girls public bathrooms is that people pee on the seat

Wait, what?

Girls pee on toilet seats? This is noteworthy for two reasons:
  1. It stinks because girls don't really have a choice when it comes to peeing. They have to use the stall. The urinal will simply not suffice due to biology, physics, and personal etiquette.
  2. How the hell does seat peeing occur in a girls bathroom
Shocking yes. I know. I never really thought about it. So like any good reporter I asked more. AS it turns out girls don't really have to aim. This, I'm aware of. But apparently they can't really aim in any direction if they really wanted to. Even if one (i.e. a girl) hovered over the bowl apparently there's not a high degree of difficulty in peeing properly.

Now it's very probable that the friend/witness was a gifted pee-er. She could be a bad benchmark. It would sorta be like asking Josh Hamilton what it's like to hit a home run. He'd probably be like "Um, I dunno, no big deal... everyone can do it, can't they?"

But that being said, maybe she wasn't the MVP of peeing, and what she says is correct. In that case I still have no clue how a girl can pee on a toilet bowl. No clue at all. I'm gonna keep on thinking about this one for a while and come up with a few hypothetical scenarios. I will report back with my findings.


Trim Shady said...

I have to leave a comment.
I get that girls wax their bikini lines. I, for one, do not. As I believe girls who do do that, are shady and go around with guys who are superficial and also a little pervy (if you like no hair at all - that is prepubescent).

I say all of this because the pubs are what end up controlling the direction of the urine. Now, I may be getting into too much detail, but I think Shakes, you would appreciate knowing this.

Shakes said...

wow. i....i am...i am speechless. some people use the phrase "speechless" and then go on to talk a lot, but i am literally without speech. while eye opening i've gotta admit, this scenario makes sense. i think.

Anonymous said...

If you sprinkle
when you tinkle,
please be neat
and wipe the seat!

Shakes said...

or conversely you can go with:

If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
Please be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.

Anonymous said...

I see you've thought about this some...

Shakes said...

...just a little...