Friday, June 20, 2008

Losing my mind: Part 1, the one-third life crisis

One of the best parts about having a quarter/ one-third life crisis is that there are definitive moments that you can recognize and point to as signs of your mental demise. The opposite is true about when everything is hunky dory and you can't really point to one or two specific things that occurred to make you so happy. When people ask you to reflect upon what things during the last year or so don't really have much of an answer except "things just sorta seemed well."

In other words, in the view of a high school Spanish teacher who was looking back at his/her life you could refer to the shitty things in the preterite tense and the good ones with the imperfect.

In actuality there really isn't a complete black/white between the two, but you gotta admit that it makes for compelling reading anytime someone can mention Spanish verb tense conjugation in the context of life's bigger questions. Mr. Houghton would be proud.

And so there I was earlier this week sitting in delayed plane on the tarmac of a weird city. People act really retarded in planes when their flight gets delayed. Often times they act like the airlines takes joy in delays because of made-up weather conditions in either (a) the departing city, (b) the city you're going to, or more painful, (c) the city your plane is coming from. In either case I usually don't get too weirded out because if the airlines doesn't think it's safe to fly, then who am I to argue? I'm not really super keen on putting my life at risk for the sake of saving an extra hour.

During these moments you have some people completely tune out (me), some get ansy (kids and business people), and you get assclowns who talk loudly on their cellphones and say shit like "they should give us our money back!" (non-frequent travelers).

But I digress.

Losing your mind isn't so much about not being able to think rationally as it is logically thinking very weird things with a clear mind. As I was sitting in the non air-conditioned plane I thought "Being stuck here is the most peaceful 2 hours that I've had by myself in a few months." Good times.

The message quickly shifted I looked out the window several hours later amidst major turbulence and thought "Boy, if this plane crashes I don't have to go to work tomorrow." Morbid. But true.

These joyous moments were then replaced when I got my feet back to the ground (literally) and upon realizing that I lost my BlackBerry I began to panic about what I'd do for the next day. That's pretty jacked up on at least two levels. Let's count them! :
  1. I landed at 11pm, I'd be at work at 7am the next day...that just means I'd be BlackBerry-less for only 8hrs...a majority of which I'd be sleeping for... Not exactly a big deal to be out of email contact

  2. I can login to my work account at home if I really wanted to connect to work

It's one thing if you have weird thoughts and then reflect upon it later...the bizarre thing is that while I was panicking I was able to think "man what is happening to me?"

What is happening to me? A weekend off will do well.

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