Friday, November 30, 2007

Live Under A Blood Red Sky

sometimes the city can be sorta pretty....and yes that's the moon glowing

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

super desi

I like India. I like Indian people. I am one of them in fact. Also I think a lot things Indian are good. I like Indian food. I like Indian cricket. I like Indian music. I like Indian Coke (Thumbs Up!)

However there are some things Indian do which is very bad.

Indian Superman is one of them.



Yes, are you still having a hard time believing what you just saw? Allow me to clarify some key points:
1) Yes, that was a brown superman that you just saw
2) Yes, the girl IS wearing a spiderman uniform
3) Yes they dynamic duo dances in the air
4) No, you can never get that 2 minutes of your life back. Ever.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

happy thanksgiving, Mystic Pizza, and anchovies

I've said it before and I'll say it again Thanksgiving is the greatest holiday of the year. Where else is the sole object of a day to be to eat food, watch football, nap, and then eat more food. That's the stuff of champions.

But the real key is the awful TV that the holiday season forces you to watch with you family and/or loved ones. After waking up from a jet-lag induced wake-up call my voyage to the living room was faced with a timeless question: watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade or "Mystic Pizza."

"Mystic Pizza" is the timeless tale of a girl who works in a pizza store and falls in love with a married man in Connecticut.

The problem with this movie is that in my dazed state I confused mystic pizza with the 1980s epic "Loverboy." So while I'm watching Julia Roberts all I kept thinking was: when does these part happen where that one delivery boy hooks up with people who order extra anchovies?

The problem is that it never came. I kept watching the stupid movie for like an hour and there wasn't even a delivery. I started thinking that maybe I just made up the movie and in an effort to make sure I wasn't wrong I kept watching. It was a vicious cycle.

In many ways it was like watching a late-night movie on USA. As a kid you're hoping to see a racy scene and just as things heat up a commercial comes and the scene is edited. Damn you crappy cable. Damn you. You know this is what happens to you and yet you keep watching. Hoping. Believing.

Disappointment arrived at the doorstep of my life at an early age.

And with that by 9am I looked as pleased as a kid on Christmas morning. All the presents had been open long ago and the thrill of sitting in the living room had already ended. This is the last time you will screw me over Thanksgiving TV, damn you and your dry bird.

And with that I embarked on making a new tradition: I got Egg McMuffins and hash browns from Mickey D's. Throw some D's on that bitch.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

crank dat soulja boy

Okay this caption is too easy. Even during the current writer's strike I can come up with a good one-liner...

Can you Spot The Turkey?


I'm soooo funny. Woo.

Runner Ups:
1) "He has a funny pecker"
2) "Is anyone in therrreee?"
3) "You have a small head"

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

welcome back seasonal depression!

One of the best parts about the winter is getting up while it's still pitch dark, going to work, and then leaving when it's dark outside. Not seeing sunlight for months at a time is both a fun and joyful experience. Sometimes I sit at work thinking "wouldn't it be nicer if I was playing outside?" Well the good thing about winter is that I never think such blasphemous thoughts.

Sometimes during the subway portion of my commute my mind wanders and thinks about unimportant questions like where my life is going, what I'm doing with myself, and how a bunch of years have passed. Luckily my train ride is only two stops long otherwise I would think about actually doing something about these questions. Thankfully I barely have enough time to remember those issues. I like to think I'm resolving serious life questions by not being able to remember them.

So it with these thoughts that I wanna give a big hearty hellooo to my seasonal depression. The annual time when I become sad about life. We salute you depression. We salute you for the introspection that you spur on. We salute you for the questions that remain unanswered.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

it's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas...

We all have simple ways of noticing that Winter is coming along. For some it's a simple glance at a calendar. For others it officially begins when the big winter coat is worn for the first time of the year.

For me it's when I shower in the morning.

Well I always shower, but I know it's winter when I start putting on the heater in my bedroom to full blast so that when I emerge from the bathroom in the morning and get ready to change, I'm greeted by a blasted of hot air.

Some may claim that this is a terrible waste of energy. I say this is but a small price to pay for having at least 5 minutes of my day not suck.

You be the judge.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

do you see what I see?

This is a pic my brother shot of my taking a pic in Venice. It's actually very cool the closer you look at it.

Monday, November 5, 2007

a poem about my towel

Oh dear friend, you are cuddly and warm
You shaggy threads feel better once worn

I know I don't bathe you as often as I do
But I still love you, as if you were my boo

You give up your dryness so I can have mine
You're like a valiant soldier, jumping on a landmine

There is a sad irony that I wash you only to dirty you
But my respect doesn't die even though you hang in the loo

Green towels I love you
Red towels I love you.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

DJ Shakes_2007-11-04 (the fall)

http://hbshakes.blogspot.com

Do not fear I'm back. Breathe easily. Well the last mix got over 2,400 downloads and I figured it's about time I did my next one. Using the magic of music and technology I have placed disparate songs in an order back-to-back in a manner which they weren't originally done. This "mix" of songs, if you will, is both revolutionary and practical. Now you can listen to many songs. One day people may take these "mixes" and put them a on a tape. A "mix tape" if you will, and listen to them in the car. But all that is just crazy talk.

There's new Jay-Z and Radiohead on this one which I think is pretty badass...

T R A C K L I S T I N G (approx 53min)

[0:00] Intro
[0:45] Symphony, Vol 1. - Marley Marl

[4:29] Roc Boys - Jay-Z

[8:31] Come Around - Collie Buddz
[11:47] Little Ghetto Boys - Wu-Tang Clan

[14:19] Hood Nigga - Gorilla Zoe
[16:42] The Lump Lump - Sadat X

[20:08] None Shall Pass - Aesop Rock
[22:22] Drivin' Me Wild - Common (feat Lily Allen)

[26:02] traditional Sikh prayer (this is a weird interlude, no?)

[26:43] Bethe Bethe Kese Kese - Gaudi vs. Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
[31:38] Slither - Anouoshka Shankar & Karsh Kale
[36:05] Ruined In A Day (K-Klass Remix) - New Order

[41:41] Papua New Guinea - The Future Sound of London
[46:05] Everything is Alright - Four Tet
[48:18] House of Cards - Radiohead


Your job is to find my favorite one liners in the mix:
1) "Your methaphor sucks more than a whore"
2) "This is black superhero music"
3) "Drivin' herself crazy like the astronaut lady"

DIRECTIONS: Right mouse click on the tracklisting above to save the entire mix (mp3) directly or Podcast Me! Simply drag the orange podcast icon on the top left of this page into your iTunes. Or:

1. goto iTunes
2. click on Advanced
3. click on Subscribe to Podcast:
4. paste this URL http://feeds.feedburner.com/EngineEngine9

Saturday, November 3, 2007

off to see Talvin Singh in the mix...


...and if you don't know him, he's kinda' a big deal....

Friday, November 2, 2007

things that would suck #523: dying

I was walking out of work this evening and I nearly got hit by a car. This would've been terrible because it's Friday. It would suck to get hit by a car on a Friday. Don't get me wrong, but getting hit, shot, beaten, or attacked by rabid squirrels is not a good thing by any stretch of the imagination. But if it's going to happen at least make it a Monday. Friday is like the reward for struggling through 5 days of needing to be a productive member of society.

It's those five days of pain which give me every right to actually live my life for the remaining two days. Getting smacked by a Ford Taurus would not only be bad for me, but it's a bad statement that Karma is making to society at large. I mean if I'm gonna work hard and still eat pavement, then what's supposed to motivate those lucky enough to make it through to Monday?

You might as well give a half-ass effort during the week because you gonna be a human hood ornament. That's just poor form by Fate.

But alas do not fear, I lived.