Monday, October 15, 2007

51-year old woman decides to destroy entire Social Security system; others to follow

In an act of heinous, unforgivable destruction, a teacher from Maryland has decided to actually retire and ask for her Social Security benefits. The woman, who is 51, is the first baby boomer to ask for her social security benefits.

Baby-boomers are defined as American born between the years 1946 and 1964, and by being born on Jan 1, 1946 (at 12:01am) the selfish Kathleen Casey-Kirschling is the first one of her generation. Way to go Kathleen. Because of you the great downfall of the Social Security system will begin. I hope you're happy.

The President is quoted as saying "I mean what's worse a system which isn't going to be good on its promises or a woman who is willing to be the hay on the camel's back. What a bitch?" While the need for a question mark at the end of Bush's statement is debatable, the awfulness of Mrs. Kirschling isn't.

Here's an excerpt for the newsire earlier today:
First Baby Boomer Asks for Social Security Benefits

By Brian Faler
Oct. 15 (Bloomberg) -- The first Baby Boomer applied today for Social Security benefits, a milestone marking the approaching retirement of a generation of Americans whose eligibility for government payouts threatens to overwhelm the federal budget.

Kathleen Casey-Kirschling, a retired Maryland teacher who was born at 12:00:01 a.m. on Jan. 1, 1946, applied this afternoon for early retirement benefits. She'll become eligible to receive benefits in January when she turns 62.

``This is the first drop of rain in the flood,'' said Bob Bixby, the head of the Concord Coalition, a Washington-based advocacy group that promotes balanced federal budgets. ``It's the beginning of an era. It's symbolic but it reminds us that we're not doing anything to prepare for this.''
I think it's pretty clear that Kathleen is really ruining the party for everyone. Besides what does a retired person in Maryland do? Hunt quail? I mean killing birds has gotta nullify your Social Security status or something, right?

3 comments:

The Grouch said...

the social security is a pay-as-you-go fund and if she's chipped in her 40-quarters income contribution, then technically she qualifies. Her age-51 share of the pie will be much lesser than her age-65 SS allowance. She's being stupid. Most people from Maryland are. She must be Republican too.

Shakes said...

Hmm. strong words. While I never questioned her eligibilty for her benefits, she is certainly not obligated to do so. That's where she becomes a communist in my books. Or as you say a Republican.

Asha said...

There is some highly unwarranted Maryland hating going on in this entry. I must defend that the DC metro area is neither country nor conservative - it's the Chocolate City for a reason. Plus, she's really from New Jersey.

Fear the turtle, bitches.