Wednesday, September 26, 2007

poke me baby one more time

It's the Facebook Stalker Anthem! (by Penn Masala)



No comment...okay okay maybe one comment... It's okay to admit that this video totally describes you. Weirdo. But if you don't wanna admit that, then you should at least check out the acapella group who did it, Penn Masala.

If you're brown and you've gone to college in the US, you've definitely heard of them. But just in case you can check them out at www.pennmasala.com where you can also download the song.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

being a Hindu, shopping, & the Puma store

Shopping at Woodbury Common's, about an hour out of Manhattan is the choicest place for outlet shopping. For many Hindus shopping at Woodbury has a lot of interesting parallels to familiar religious and cultural ceremonies. First of all it's the voyage itself. Every Indian kid (Hindu or otherwise) knows that no temple that your parents make you goto is ever with 30 minutes from home. No no noooooo.

For some reason people felt that temples needed to be like at least a 6 hours drive from where you are. Going to the temple means having a long painful car ride, preferrably with no A/C and no suspension. Going to Woodbury's is no different.

Also Woodbury's involves saving money. Indians are all about that. Finaly Indian functions tend to be filled with...well...other Indian people. Again, Woodbury's has that too. There really isn't much more of an elaboration that needs to be made to that point I think. Anyhoo, here are my pics:


Shop 'til you...well...drop. But like seriously, did you have to just sit down on the middle of the ground.















Um, miss, do you really need to get 7 pairs of shoes? You know what you could also do...and I know this is crazy...but use a cart.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

the great getaway

Lots of crimes happen today. Contrary to popular belief, crime occurs merely for the sake of keeping things interesting. As long as you keep your eyes open you can spot and enjoy it as well...assuming of course that it isn't your shit that's getting stolen.

While driving through the back roads of Jersey I spotted this gem....a guy on a bike racing down the street frantically hauling a shopping cart with him...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

man kills both grandmothers, misses soccer game

In a bizarre but sad twist over the past week Irish national soccer player Stephen Ireland (fitting last name, no?) killed off both his grandmothers. Well it's not as bad as it sounds, but it's a lot goofier.

Prior to an important qualifying match, Stephen learned that his girlfriend had a miscarriage. Stephen understandably wanted to spend time with the girl but he didn't think the national team would excuse him from their game for that reason, so he made up an excuse. He claimed his grandmother died.

When team officials realized that his maternal grandmother was alive and well (in Cork), Stephen changed his story...he claimed his paternal grandmother was the one who died. Well as it turns out she was carrying along quite well too (in London). After a few days of utter confusion Stephen came forward and told Irish officials the truth.

All of this set-up one of the funniest press conferences ever:
"I sincerely apologise, particularly as I caused a lot of problems for many people. I would like to apologise to my grandmothers and all my family for any distress I have caused them." - Stephen Ireland
"Distress"?! Dude how would you feel if you were some old Irish lady minding your own business and you learned that your grandson had claimed you were dead. Worst yet he had done this annoying snot-nosed grandson had done this twice...in a week.

Way to go Stephen. You killed off your grandmothers and you think a small apology to them will suffice.

Monday, September 17, 2007

DJ Shakes_2007-09-17 (Indian Picnic)

http://hbshakes.blogspot.com
theme: Indian Picnic

Okay you wanted a pure Indian mix, you got it. If you're not Indian you may wanna skip this one. I figured I'd make a mix of a bunch of old Indian songs that my parents would play in the car, at home...basically at all times.

Hopefully you enjoy it, I tried my best to keep each track short and punchy...it's one thing to reminisce over listening to an old song, but you don't really need to listen for all 6 minutes of each song, including the weird musical interludes that all songs from 1950-1970 seemed to possess...

T R A C K L I S T I N G (approx 62min)
[time] song - film (year)

[0:00] Intro - Me
[1:19] Apni To Jaise Taise - Laawaris (1981)
[4:08] Aan Milo Shyam Sanware - Devdas (1955, the original)
[5:36] Na Tum Hamen Jano - Baat Ek Raat Ki (1962)
[7:23] Shola Jo Bhadke - Albela (1951)
[9:14] Pehla Nasha - Jo Jeet Wohi Sikander (1992)
[12:20] Are Jaane Kaise Kab Kaha (1982)
[14:12] Zaroorat Hai Zaroorat Hai - Man Mauji (1962)
[16:07] Jo Wada Kiya - Taj Mahal (1963)
[18:13] Aaja Sanam - Chori Chori (1956)
[19:34] Nain Tumhare Mazedar - Junglee (1961)
[21:02] Jooma Chumma De De - Hum (1989)
[24:34] Rote Huye Aate Hain Sub - Muqaddar Ka Sikander (1978)
[27:51] Haal Kaisa Hai - Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi (1958)
[29:39] Yeh Hai Reshmi Zulfon Ka Andhera - Mere Sanam (1965)
[30:57] Khoya Khoya Chand - Kala Bazaar (1960)
[32:40] Humen Tumse Pyar Kitna - Kudrat (1981)
[35:09] Dil Cheez Kya Hai - Umrao Jaan (1981)
[37:37] Teri Pyari Pyari Soorat Jo - Sasural (1970)
[39:46] Musu Musu - Shaan (1999, not a film)
[41:38] Meet Na Mila Re Man Ka - Abhimaan (1973)
[44:27] Sanjh Savere - Dosti (1964)
[46:50] Ajeeb Dastan Hai Yeh - Dil Apna Aur Preet Parai (1960)
[49:12] Piya Tu Ab To Aaja - Caravan (1971)
[51:06] Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya - Hum Dono (1961)
[54:32] Khaike Pan Banaras Wala - Don (1978)
[58:24] Dil Ka Bhanwar Kare Pukar - Tere Ghar Ke Samne (1963)


26 songs song in 60 minutes...that's gotta be some sorta record for Indian songs. There are more than a few songs that are from Amitabh Bachchan movies, but the goal was to focus on mostly old stuff. The last song is my favorite..

DIRECTIONS: Right mouse click on the tracklisting above to save the entire mix (mp3) directly or Podcast Me! Simply drag the orange podcast icon on the top left of this page into your iTunes. Or:

1. goto iTunes
2. click on Advanced
3. click on Subscribe to Podcast:
4. paste this URL http://feeds.feedburner.com/EngineEngine9

If the link doesn't work, just message me and I'll upload the file again.

[click HERE for the top of the blog]

Saturday, September 15, 2007

turn off the bright lights... Interpol @ MSG

Openers: Liars, Catpower...

Although honestly Interpol isn't big enough yet to fill up MSG, few bands really are (although they got sorta close). Well I guess any 80s band doing a reunion tour through NY can probably do it...but still. Not only did they play a banging show that was near the top of my list of live shows that I've seen of theirs, but equally important was the commitment shared by my beloved foursome of concertgoers to engage in the timeless tradition that all people who are stuck in lower Midtown Manhattan late at night partake in (besides Kati Roll)...oh yes...Korean BBQ. It's on bitches. Or as they call it in Korea...BBQ.

Anytime that you can hang with a group of people after standing amidst a crowd of people for about 5 hours and still maintain the presence of mind to know that a festival of unadulterated meat eating still needs to occur...that's just...that's just quality work with quality people

The meat fest was well deserved as it happened after battling a drunk goth girl and her boyfriend(?) who was mysteriously dressed up like a waiter for the show. I don't want to judge people, but he was wearing a strange black vest-like thing with a black tie on a white shirt. That screams "waiter" to me. However he had a BlackBerry and that just confused me.

The highlight of the show wasn't when Interpol played a rare second encore of "Untitled" or even when we poured onto the floor of MSG while the unlucky masses were kindly seated, it was when my friend Brian, after politely elbowing El Waiter to stop backing-up into him with the drunk Goth girlfriend for over 45 minutes, finally yelled out "I can't take this anymore!" flailed his hands and galloped away.

Friday, September 14, 2007

my lunch

I have the greatest diet ever.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

desis on the road

1 out of 6 people in the world are Indian. Indian people have cars. However you don't have to always know who's inside the car to know they're Indian.




















































...oh wait this one let's you know that a Chicago Bulls fan is driving...

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Six Years.


...from my living room window to up close...As you can see the biggest misconception is that the beams of light are not literally projected from Ground Zero, instead it's a few blocks over

Monday, September 10, 2007

old school GPS

Christopher Columbus helped prove that you can totally fuck up looking at a map and still get somewhere worthwhile. The only consequences are misnaming an entire race of Native Americans for the rest of human history, the ramifications of which results in a baseball team in Cleveland getting named after people who really live half way across the world.

That being said it's hard to imagine almost that people still use regular maps still. I mean even if you don't have GPS (perish the thought!) at least you can use Google Maps or really keep it retro with Yahoo Maps. The idea of using a regular AAA-style maps where your route is not clearly shown is like imagining life before cellphones (how were you ever able to coordinate meeting people when you went out??? "meet me at the corner at 9pm....or else I'll just wait forever...")

Well while driving down the freeway the other day I discovered that people DO use regular maps and sometimes those same people use them while driving. It's a rare rare sight indeed.

As you can see on the right, while cruising at about 60mph some people feel like that's the best time to unfold the old paper maps and figure out where the hell they are going.

Well played weirdo. But the real question is how are you able to figure out where you and how to get to where you're going in a hurry while you're speeding along on the freeway?

I mean I guess people in the olden days faced this problem all the time, and time and time again this answer is the same....

You're probably going the wrong direction Mofo....and with that seconds after I spotted the directionally-challenged driver I saw her speed off and take the patented illegal U-turn.

Please of course note that she made this turn right in front of a well-placed no U-Turn sign. Dude, I can't make up this stuff.

All this goes to show is that even in the olden days Chris Columbus could've taken a U-Turn at any point in time. Instead he decided to unleashed European diseases upon an entire continent of people.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Pink is the New Black

... on the subway...no comment

Friday, September 7, 2007

"these are the people in my neighborhood, in my neighborhood, in my neigh-bor-hooood...."

18 months ago my neighbors on my floor all gathered together and conspired to make a devious devious plan. Their idea: To all have children such that they could terrorize my life. I guess using the phrase "child terrorism" is a bit of a stretch but at all hours you can hear kids or making general noises. I guess this is unfair, it's really not so bad. The children are actually awesome because they make great targets for my water gun pursuits. Nailing small kids (usually under the age of 12) with a water fun from 5 stories up causes great pleasure....almost as much as hitting dogs and watching them go crazy on their owners.

Furthermore I guess one could construct an argument that perhaps they had children as a fulfillment of their own personal ambitions and not strictly as a means for causing me ill. Go figure.

That being said the real pain isn't the little people, but the fact that twice a week or so my next door neighbor decides to cook trash...and burn it. Well it's not really trash, more like some bizarro concoction of spices and vegetables. As a fellow Indian I guess I'm supposed to be of such artistic culinary expressions. As a fellow human I think at some point the opinion of your 5 senses block out any good will. Oh well.

Meanwhile on the other side of my door is my neighbors (also Indian) who have decided that we will not use any words to communicate. Morning greetings are met with blank stares and quick paces back to their door (which gets quickly locked after they dive in). I do not like them. It also doesn't help that the "woman-type" character of the couple looks like a brown troll. You'd think she'd realize that in her life she's gonna have to rely upon her personality...big time. Sadly no one gave her the memo.

Again I guess they haven't really personally mistreated me or anything, but in retaliation I steal their newspaper in the morning on occasion. The Financial Times is sooo much better when it's free. What's even more enjoyable is the thought that as I'm on my train heading to work, there's a troll person who is opening their front door expecting to see a pink paper, only to see nothing but their doormat at the front of their door exclaiming (in all likelihood) "Arre bakri chod!!!"

I spit on you troll people. I spit on you bad cooks. But I don't spit on you little babies. No no no. I make it rain.

Monday, September 3, 2007

DJ Shakes_2007-09-03 (eclectic)

http://hbshakes.blogspot.com
theme: eclectic

Back to being eclectic...Lots of different things here, but the one thing to note is that the final two lines from my mini poem are taken from Common "The Light"..which is an appropriate intro I think to my first song on the show, which is the last track on Common's new album.

T R A C K L I S T I N G (approx 58min)

[0:00] Intro - It's meeeee...wait am I rhyming?
[0:19] Common - Forever Begins
[3:45] Ben E. King - Stand By Me
[4:49] Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls
[6:31] Moby - Inside
[9:08] Massive Attack - Tear Drop
[12:51] M.I.A. - Bamboo Banga
[17:28] Midival Punditz - Raanjhan (Son Kite Mix)
[22:39] Oakenfold & Pharrel - Sex N' Money (Benassi mix) Vs. Tom Novy & Lima - Take it
[28:06] PM Dawn - I'd Die Without You
[31:45] Pink Floyd - Take It Back
[34:26] Beach Boys - Don't Worry Baby
[37:06] The Arcade Fire - Antichrist Television Blues
[41:56] The Enemy - Away From Here
[44:30] Calvin Harris - Acceptable In The 80's
[49:32] Nitin Sawhney - Songbird (Zero-ID Remix)
[53:04] Isao Tomita - Suite Berganasque, Claire De Lune No. 3
[54:00] Air -Run


DIRECTIONS: Right mouse click on the tracklisting above to save the entire mix (mp3) directly or Podcast Me! Simply drag the orange podcast icon on the top left of this page into your iTunes. Or:

1. goto iTunes
2. click on Advanced
3. click on Subscribe to Podcast:
4. paste this URL http://feeds.feedburner.com/EngineEngine9

If the link doesn't work, just message me and I'll upload the file again.

[click HERE for the top of the blog]

Saturday, September 1, 2007

"Saturday in the [ball]park..."

Yankees 9, Tampa Bay 6.... (5 games behind Boston, 2 games up on the wildcard)


"Saturday In The Park," by Chicago (1972)
Saturday in the park
I think it was the fourth of july
Saturday in the park
I think it was the fourth of july
People dancing, people laughing
A man selling ice cream
Singing italian songs
(fake italian lyric)
Can you dig it (yes, I can)
And Ive been waiting such a long time
For saturday

Saturday in the park
Youd think it was the fourth of july
Saturday in the park
Youd think it was the fourth of july
People talking, really smiling
A man playing guitar
Singing for us all
Will you help him change the world
Can you dig it (yes, I can)
And Ive been waiting such a long time
For today

Slow motion riders fly the colors of the day
A bronze man still can tell stories his own way
Listen children all is not lost
All is not lost

Funny days in the park
Every days the fourth of july
Funny days in the park
Every days the fourth of july
People reaching, people touching
A real celebration
Waiting for us all
If we want it, really want it
Can you dig it (yes, I can)
And Ive been waiting such a long time
For the day

But you don't have to read all that to know the song, you can just watch THIS.