Monday, April 2, 2007

In an edition of Newsweek from a few weeks ago the cover story focuses on male depression. Moving away from the fact that it focuses on males, is the underlying theme that regular, everyday people really suffer from it often times without realizing it.

What's interesting about feeling depressed is that people on the outside can think everything is totally perfecto and yet you don't feel that way at all. I guess it is when the feeling persists or comes up every so often that you think you're slipping into different territory.

Sometimes when I see a balcony or an open window I wonder about jumping off. Now the reality is that I would probably never do it, I just think sometimes about what if I did it and what people's reactions would be if I wasn't around. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm a pretty normal guy and I would like to imagine that it's not really unusual to wonder about stuff like that.

Okay I stop writing there.


Rush said...

Good topic. I myself suffer from depression and have hidden it for a long time under the facade that things are fine. Although never suicidal, depression left me paralyzed for more than a few months, more than a few times in my life. The problem is that unlike a blocked artery or a broken bone, it is not possible to physically see the hurt, thereby enabling us to deny it a little easier. But like the Zoloft commercial, "you just know when things don't seem right".

I like to think that those suffering from depression, such as myself, understand the difference between being bummed out for a couple of days and seriously being depressed. NY Times had an article yesterday on depression being overdiagnosed. This might be true as we are a pill-popping society, but there are those who are in serious need of medication and therapy.

The part that I had the hardest time digesting was that I was a normal regular girl with a healthy and happy upbringing. So how could depression happen to me? I wasn't secretly abused or unliked by my peers; my parents took me to Disneyworld like all good parents do. My problem was/is that depression caused me to be abusive to myself and unliked by myself. And that is very unfortunate because now I understand that I'm a good person and I deserve to be happy.

As do you.

PS. Thanks for this.

witnee said...

Not to worry my friend, I've often had similar flashes of such thoughts. I do think they are pretty normal.
I might agree with the article rush mentioned about depression being overdiagnosed at times, but my main problem is not with doctors diagnosing patients but with the insurance companies. Insurance companies want to tell you how many sessions of therapy you can attend and what medication you can take. If they would just take a preventative stance on mental health, I'm sure that their costs wouldn't be as much in the long run.

Rush, I'm glad that you realized you deserve to be happy! We all do!