Thursday, March 22, 2007

elevator spacial stupidity

I think many people know that one of my pet peeves is elevator etiquette, which I've written about before on several occasions (e.g. loud talkers, ladies first in a crowded elevator, etc.) but one of the more annoying habits that people have is to think they're anchored at the part of the elevator they're standing. Now I can understand that when they elevator is crowded people have to get nice and close to each other. Sometimes too close. But if I'm pinned against the wall, it's okay, I understand. But as people start getting to their floors the elevator tends to get less crowded...except for those idiots who get on only to get off one floor later....as such a lot of people act like complete idiots and don't move to fill in this magically new found space. Instead the assclowns just stand there with me pinned against the wall.

The worst part is that they'll just keep on talking and standing as if nothing is happening, as if they naturally always like to have their elbows touching me, as if I enjoy being 3 inches away from their loud conversation.

The only thing worse that that is That Guy. Oh you know who That Guy is. That Guy is the person who is the last person to enter the elevator at the ground floor and has no problem with halting the gloriously closing doors in order to pile on. They just stand there acting like they did nothing wrong while other elevator passengers who have invested valuable seconds, some as much as twenty, waiting to get to their floor of choice. Meanwhile That Guy just stands there acting like nothing is wrong. No sorry. No nothing. Occasionally a passenger will crack under the pressure and stare at the person. While this is generally frowned upon in polite company the feelings expressed are understandable. At this point the only acceptable form of communication is to give a peeved glance at other people as if to say "oh boy, the nerve of That Guy, shit."

I beg you people, don't be That Guy.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i will leave you one better. one day when we were leaving for lunch, we were on a packed elevator heading down from the top floor. the elevator literally stops at each floor before stopping at level 4. everyone is quite grumbly and someone has made a crack about how this must be the local elevator.

then lady, yes, That Lady, gets on at the 4th floor. she hits the button for the THIRD floor - THE NEXT FLOOR DOWN IN A BUILDING WITH ESCALATORS.

Riding in the crowded elevator was a powerful publicist with MANY A-list clients. He stared right at her and said, "I guess carrying that Us Weekly made it too hard for you to take the escalator one floor down, huh?"