Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Luddites & you...and more train etiquette

Luddites were a group of English people in the 1800s who broke amidst the Industrial Revolution because they felt their jobs were at risk from the technological advancements. The movement itself was started by a guy Ned Led. Contrary to popular belief he wasn't just a guy who existed in my history books in middle school, he was a real person. While he probably wasn't crazy and had his own logical motive which could be revealed from a little bit of research, I think it's a lot simpler to assume that he was bonkers.

Besides the reality is that I'm not really looking to teach a history lesson. In fact a much more poignant writing piece would have me compare, contrast, and parallel the anxieties of workers in the olden days to the modern workers.... perhaps showing how both are not driven by irrational fears given that they ended up in the same mindset through separate motivations and thereby showing a replicable train of thought from different people across different times and hence a type of rationalism. But I shall not. A piece of writing like that would be bad for the ratings and I would grow weary of bringing social insights into this forum that do not make fun of elderly desis.

Instead I ask a much more thought provoking question, if your name could be an adjective to describe a group of people and/or political movement, what would it be?

Let's start with me, since I'm the one writing here. Mine would be the Shakefors (I dunno where I got that "-fors" suffix, but I just saw a bit of a Charlotte Bobcats highlight on SportsCenter and got partially inspired) a people who display an unusual ability to be socially functionable and extroverted yet have an overwhelming desire to sit in their pajamas at home all day. Also they like coke. The liquid kind. Peanut butter is also a plus.

See it's your turn...go ahead, try. Feeling shy? Okay, hmm alright lemme do it for you Klaus, who is reading from Eastern Germany (well I do know that someone from Germany reads this), your people, the Klausenfartens are known for clubbing Poles with traffic pylons and listening to dance music videos that feature dogs. Oh wait a sec, that's what all Germans do.


At this point many of you are thinking, "What is all this gibberish that this guy is writing? Furthermore why am I still reading?" Well I could talk about what really bothered me today, which wasn't that I was at work for 16 hours, or that my college degree doesn't enable me to operate a fax machine successfully, or even that my heater in my stupid bedroom is broken and my super didn't fix it, no no no. It was something even worse, I hate it when people on trains don't share the poles to hold onto. Instead the ignore the fact that you're standing there and they lean up onto it, taking up valuable hand-holding real estate. That shit really ticks me off. What am I supposed to hold onto to prevent me from flying around in the train? But c'mon would you really wanna hear about me complain today? I mean you've already put up with it so much over the past few months, you deserve a break. Honestly.

See, doesn't that feel good? Great. Now define your fucking political movement already


The Grouch said...

dude, once there was this fat guy in a wife beater and shorts. he was sweating. profusely.
the whore that he is was leaning on the pole and it was disgusting.
sweat + germs + fugly people . ewww
i walk to work. its 4 kms. but i do. serious.

The Grouch said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rush said...

are the monkeys throwing their poop at the computer? imagine if your boss did that?

odd musings for 10:00 am.

Asha said...

i can't comment on the first 3/4 of this post (it's a little too esoteric), but i will say that once when i was on a crowded bus in italy, this grandmother kept smashing onto my hand on the pole with her back. i was SUPER annoyed!