Wednesday, February 28, 2007

the real Secret is that you're a bunch of lazy bums

I was reading Newsweek in bed last nights and came across an article about a book called "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. Apparently it's been sweeping the nation without me even realizing....almost 2 million books sold, a DVD version, and a grand appearance on Oprah. Who could ask for anything more? What the hell was I doing to miss this? I was missing the Secret....and not just the Secret, the Secret. Not since Victoria started keeping things from me had their been a Secret this important, this good, this vital.

The problem of course is I didn't know what the Secret was. Well upon further reading, the Secret works roughly as follows: Instead of actively doing things to change your life, you just have to think about it happening....and it happens. That's the beauty of the Secret! You don't really doooo anything. You just like, wish for it. Like a lot. So this goes beyond the ol' power of positive thinking. This means that if you wanna lose weight, you don't have to actually eat right and exercise....no no no no....au contraire bon jour.... you just think thin thoughts. Furthermore if you see fat people you just think about thin people instead and presto! You're thin! If you want a car you don't have to save up for money, no no no...you just think about the car and blammo. Car!

At the risk of judging other people's beliefs and value in a subjective manner, this may be the biggest load of shit ever. And she duped Oprah into this! Oprah! In the words of Bill Cosby while responding to Theo's theory of why bad grades are okay, "Theo, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." Although let's take a step back, this theory is put forth by a woman. I say that not to be sexist, but let's be clear, only a woman could walk into a bar with no money and leave it drunk

After reading this I was struck by how ridiculous this whole thing sounds. How could you even believe this nonsense. So with that I plopped off to bed forgetting the waste of time that is Newsweek
and started wondering how a friend of mine whom I hadn't heard from in a while was doing. As I closed the lights and put my head on my pillow I heard my phone vibrate and I got a text message from my friend! (okay actually my phone doesn't vibrate when I get a text message, it has a little melodic tone that I put on which no one will ever recognize but I'll reveal is the opening sounds from the 1968 Bollywood song "Bhai battoor bhai battoor, ab jainge kitni door" from Padosan). The Secret is working!

Fast forward to this morning, oddly enough at 8am I was craving a chocolate covered croissant (only God knows why?) when our assistant randomly announced that she had donuts! It's the Secret at work!

Sadly though my winning steak was to end right there. My wishes for winning the lottery, having a decent lunch selection from the cafeteria, and a milk shake magically appearing all went unnoticed. I was going to wish for world peace and the end of global warming but I figured it's of no use now. Maybe, God forbid, we'll have to actually do something about it.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Luddites & you...and more train etiquette

Luddites were a group of English people in the 1800s who broke amidst the Industrial Revolution because they felt their jobs were at risk from the technological advancements. The movement itself was started by a guy Ned Led. Contrary to popular belief he wasn't just a guy who existed in my history books in middle school, he was a real person. While he probably wasn't crazy and had his own logical motive which could be revealed from a little bit of research, I think it's a lot simpler to assume that he was bonkers.

Besides the reality is that I'm not really looking to teach a history lesson. In fact a much more poignant writing piece would have me compare, contrast, and parallel the anxieties of workers in the olden days to the modern workers.... perhaps showing how both are not driven by irrational fears given that they ended up in the same mindset through separate motivations and thereby showing a replicable train of thought from different people across different times and hence a type of rationalism. But I shall not. A piece of writing like that would be bad for the ratings and I would grow weary of bringing social insights into this forum that do not make fun of elderly desis.

Instead I ask a much more thought provoking question, if your name could be an adjective to describe a group of people and/or political movement, what would it be?

Let's start with me, since I'm the one writing here. Mine would be the Shakefors (I dunno where I got that "-fors" suffix, but I just saw a bit of a Charlotte Bobcats highlight on SportsCenter and got partially inspired) a people who display an unusual ability to be socially functionable and extroverted yet have an overwhelming desire to sit in their pajamas at home all day. Also they like coke. The liquid kind. Peanut butter is also a plus.

See it's your turn...go ahead, try. Feeling shy? Okay, hmm alright lemme do it for you Klaus, who is reading from Eastern Germany (well I do know that someone from Germany reads this), your people, the Klausenfartens are known for clubbing Poles with traffic pylons and listening to dance music videos that feature dogs. Oh wait a sec, that's what all Germans do.

Hmmm.

At this point many of you are thinking, "What is all this gibberish that this guy is writing? Furthermore why am I still reading?" Well I could talk about what really bothered me today, which wasn't that I was at work for 16 hours, or that my college degree doesn't enable me to operate a fax machine successfully, or even that my heater in my stupid bedroom is broken and my super didn't fix it, no no no. It was something even worse, I hate it when people on trains don't share the poles to hold onto. Instead the ignore the fact that you're standing there and they lean up onto it, taking up valuable hand-holding real estate. That shit really ticks me off. What am I supposed to hold onto to prevent me from flying around in the train? But c'mon would you really wanna hear about me complain today? I mean you've already put up with it so much over the past few months, you deserve a break. Honestly.

See, doesn't that feel good? Great. Now define your fucking political movement already

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

DJ Shakes_2007-02-21 (Oscars)

http://hbshakes.blogspot.com
theme: The Oscars

Okay with the the Oscars coming up this weekend I felt like what better an idea for a mix than to put a lot of movie dialogue clips together between mostly electronica. So you'll see a lot of random things from "Ferris Bueller" to "16 Candles" and hopefully it comes off well. When I first started putting this together it was like 50 movie clips and over 3hrs long....this is my best attempt at making it a little bit shorter...

T R A C K L I S T I N G (approx 77min)

[0:00] Intro - Me
[0:00-0:45] movie: "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" - playing sick
[0:45] movie: "Napoleon Dynamite" - $120 bucks with Kip & Uncle Rico
[1:07] Jazzanova - Fedime's Flight
[4:19] movie: "Gladiator" - opening battle address to the Roman army
[5:01] Chemical Brothers - Hoops
[8:11] movie: "Full Metal Jacket" - the Marines Corps live forever
[8:25]
Chemical Brothers - Hoops (continued)
[9:55] movie: "Wedding Crashers" - dating
[10:43] Deep Dish - Innocente (Falling In Love)
[14:47] movie: "Airplane" - don't call me Surely
[14:51]
Deep Dish - Innocente (continued)
[15:15] movie: "Wayne's World" - hurl
[15:39] Rui Da Silva - Touch Me
[18:47] movie: "Elf" - smiling is my favorite
[18:58] movie: "Elf" - world's greatest coffee
[19:09] Amon Tobin - Sordid
[20:39] movie: "Crimson Tide" - Purpose of war
[20:44] Amon Tobin - Sordid (continued)
[21:00] movie: "Princess Bride" - storming the castle
[21:06] Amon Tobin - Sordid (continued again!)
[23:09] movie: "Anchorman" - Afternoon Delight
[24:28] PFM - Danny's Song (LTJ Bukem mix)
[26:21] movie: "Citizen Kane" - Rosebud
[26:23]
PFM - Danny's Song (continued)
[26:41] movie: "A Streetcar Named Desire" - hey Stellaaaaa
[26:53] PFM - Danny's Song (continued)
[30:13] movie: "Adventures in Babysitting" - the blues
[30:15] Amon Tobin - Nightlife
[35:45] movie: "Gandhi" - Gandhi tells the British to leave
[37:53] Osmani Soundz - Spiritual Masterkey
[40:28] movie: "Starsky & Hutch" - we govern overselves
[41:12] Osmani Soundz - Spiritual Masterkey (continued)
[43:12] movie: "Wall Street" - Gordon Gekko address
[44:00] Jori - Back When We Was Attached
[47:48] movie: "Clueless" - on immigration
[48:48] Jori - Back When We Was Attached (continued)
[49:27] movie: "25th hour" - Fuck New York
[54:13] Nas - NY State of Mind
[56:32] movie: "Coming to America" - good morning my neighbors!
[56:49] Nas - NY State of Mind (continued)
[58:48] movie: "Zoolander" - Earth to Matilda....
[59:16] George Michael - Freedom '90
[63:40] movie: "Old School" - we're going streaking in the quads
[63:58]
George Michael - Freedom '90 (continued)
[65:38] movie - "Blow" - pure as the driven snow
[65:46] Fatboy Slim - Star 69 (explicit mix)
[66:16] movie - "Scarface" - the one line everyone knows...
[66:40] Fatboy Slim - Star 69 (continued)
[67:07] movie - "16 Candles" - panties to geek
[67:10] Fatboy Slim - Star 69 (continued)
[69:30] movie: "Dead Poet's Society - words, poetry, & passion
[69:50] Deep Dish - Unplugged
[73:23] movie: "Harold and Kumar Goto White Castle" - ode to White Castle
[74:07] Supermode - Tell Me Why
[75:01] "Top Gun" - the MiG data is incorrect
[75:30] Supermode - Tell Me Why (continued)
[76:43] movie: "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" - Bueller, Bueller, Bueller.....


So this mix has definitely taken the most amount of time of any one I've done so hopefully you like it. While most mixes have about 15-20 different songs or tracks, this one ended up at a beefy 44 clips....and don't even get me started on the post-mix process of making sure the audio levels on everything were aligned okay and creating drum breaks to slot the clips in so that when the dialogue ended it times up perfectly with the beat picking up. That being said a few choice soundbytes, like from "Lawrence of Arabia" and "Back to the Future" ended up on the cutting floor. Oh well, maybe next year.

DIRECTIONS: Right mouse click on the tracklisting above to save the entire mix (mp3) directly or Podcast Me! Simply drag the orange podcast icon on the top left of this page into your iTunes. Or:

1. goto iTunes
2. click on Advanced
3. click on Subscribe to Podcast:
4. paste this URL http://feeds.feedburner.com/EngineEngine9

(If the link doesn't work, just message me and I'll upload the file again)

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Surya the Desi Apprentice: Part 6: The Mad Scientist

The Apprentice: season 6, episode 6

"Hip hop hoooraay, hooo, heeey hooo,
Surya Yalamanchili is still on the shooooow..."

The Great Brown Hope has survived yet another week and he has moved from a fringe character to a central piece. After getting a touched overly fired up about being taken to the board room last week, Surya turns out to be a little bit crazy....err ...sorta like a Mad Scientist. The best part is that out of his whole day he's basically filmed missing out on a sale pitch with three people, thus making him look like a bit of a putz. Gotta love TV editing.

Not since Amitabh Bachchan's acting in "Naseeb" has there been such drama revolving around brown people. But I think we all know how that one ended, in a fiery escape from a revolving restaurant where three Indian guys are forced to slide down a wire some 30 stories in the air while a bad guy (on fire) chops away at the wire. I think we can all agree that this is a pretty fungible metaphor that can applied to most parts of people's lives.


[back to the top of the blog]

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Sonic Youth @ Webster Hall

Last night was the first time I saw Sonic Youth in almost 10 years (college in like 1998)...

Friday, February 16, 2007

Dubya Unplugged

For the first time in 2 months our President held a press conference two day ago where he would answer questions. The fact that his engagement in unscripted interactions is noteworthy is a sad sad statement in my humble, unbiased opinion. I mean if there's one thing cool about having a Parliament it's that the Prime Minister has to basically work off his toes every session as he gets pounded with questions. In fact watching the English Parliament late at night on C-SPAN is one of the best sources of entertainment....or at least British entertainment anyways. Has anyone really spent some time watching old re-runs of The Benny Hill Show? I'm sorry but that tatti is awful. All he does is run around in women's clothes while being chased by ugly people. If I wanted to see that I could go into the women's changing room of a local Wal-Mart.

But I digress.

While watching the Prez speak I came to one solid conclusion: If this guy was in high school MUN or speech & debate he would get shredded up. If you close your eyes and forget for a moment that he's the Commander & Chump (oh what a slumber that would be!) you can't help but feel that the way he answers questions is akin to that of annoying delegate in some debate committee...the kind whom everyone can't stand because they have an inability to have substance in their speech.

Okay so it's easy to take random shots at the guy, I mean it's not like everyone else doesn't do it, but look at his quotes from today:
  • The Prez on working with Iraqi forces: "The coordination's good. In other words, there's good conversation, constant conversation between the commanders of the -- of our troops and their troops. And that's a positive development."
  • The Prez on potential Irani weapons used in Iraq: "But the point I made in my initial speech in the White House about Iraq was -- is that we know they're there and we're going to protect our troops. When we find the networks that are enabling these weapons to end up in Iraq, we will deal with them."
  • 15 seconds later the Prez on Irani weapons in Iraq: "If we find agents who are moving these devices into Iraq, we will deal with them. I have put out the command to our troops -- I mean, to the people, our commanders, that we'll protect the soldiers of the United States and innocent people in Iraq, and we'll continue doing so."
  • The Prez paints a rich tapestry of the land of Iran: "And I believe Iran is a unbelievably vital nation. It's got a great history. It's got wonderful traditions. It's got very capable, smart people."
  • ....why don't we have one more comment about protecting our troops 1 minutes later: "...And I've asked our commanders to do something about it. And we're going to protect our troops. "
  • ....okay, okay, how about one more reassurance while being asked about about the quality of U.S. intelligence even though it doesn't really apply to the question being answered: "The idea that somehow we're manufacturing the idea that the Iranians are providing IEDs is preposterous. My job is to protect our troops. And when we find devices that are in that country that are hurting our troops, we're going to do something about it, pure and simple."
  • ...can't we have one more? : "Does this mean you're trying to have a pretext for war? No. It means I'm trying to protect our troops. That's what that's means."
  • The Prez on how he is in touch with the world around him and the events in Iraq: "I can only tell you what people on the ground whose judgment -- it's hard for me, you know, living in this beautiful White House, to give you a first-hand assessment. I haven't been there. You have. I haven't... It is, however, a dangerous situation, thereby requiring action on my part."
  • The Prez describing a breakthrough revelation on the laws of supply and demand to an audience in awe: "by the way, the -- when the demand for corn stays high, the price tends to go up and your hog farmer gets disgruntled with the alternative energy plan."
I love the troops and I think what they're doing is something I would never be able to handle. But let's be honest, the reason the Prez keeps on referring to protecting them is because it's one of the few topics that no one can really speak against. That's why he brings it up every few minutes even on any topic, even when that's not the issue at hand. It's like saying "I'm not really for or against abortion, I just want to protect our troops." I'm sorry but if a high school kid responded to a debate like this, he wouldn't pass his class....let alone be the leader of the free world. Okay so this whole post is a little bit of political commentary but I can't believe that people can take him seriously.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Surya the Desi Apprentice: Part 5: Surya is Grilled

The Apprentice: season 6, episode 5

Ah yes, and so the world of Surya Yalamanchili has started to heat up as he was nearly booted out this past week.

Sadly there isn't anything too dramatic to report except the fact that the mission this week was to sell honey, and like Surya's team didn't.

That's sorta it. There are no cute pop culture references that I can make or random comments about growing up in an Indian family. What I will say is that it's pretty funny how TV can make characters....over the last two week Surya sorta gets edited to seem like a robot tool when in the first 3 weeks he was pretty normal and much loved (case and point, why else would his original team like him so much?)

So with that Surya displayed his Brown Power by actually being one of the few aggressive desis that you see on TV...that aren't the weird desi thugs you see in Jersey...wait a second, didn't he goto Rutgers?

[back to the top of the blog]

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

peeing in the wind

One of the Rites of Passage of all people is the experience of having to pee when there is no proper bathroom in sight. It's funny that as the situation becomes more and more dire...or the pressure builds if you will...your personal inhibitions over suitable public behavior slowly go out the window. That being said, as you get older you have to try and be suave about the whole thing. For instance a few years ago on my way back from Yankee Stadium I felt like I was going to explode. This was a bad thing. If I was three years old I may have been tempted to pee in the subway or something, but that would be uncouth being over two decades older.. .

...Instead I chose the much more refined course of action of getting off at the City Hall stop, sprinting across the street like a crazy person into a Subway (ironic no? I still went to a "subway" of sorts) bursting into the kitchen, scaring some dudes in the back and going to the bathroom without asking permission.

Today itself proved to be another tough peeing situation. As a storm makes it's way through the city and sleet and snow set it, the walk home become a touch unpleasant to say the least. Amidst all that yours truly had to pee. Badly. There are some things that can be debated in this world but one that cannot is the fact that Battery Park is one of the most painful places to walk around in the city during winter. So to recap: it was cold and I had to pee. Now there were a few sparse people here and there but no one anywhere near me....and to stop for a moment would be too cold. So since it was a touch windy and I had some space I did what any reasonable person my age would do while walking through a park, I peed while walking. Discreet and effective. I'm quite mature. Quite.

This should be the stuff of a Japanese game shows or something. Take random contestants and try to see if they can pee in random public scenarios. Perhaps maybe even involve the usage of moving vehicles and whatnot. Perhaps the one of the worst places to pee, even though it's a "bathroom" is in a plane during turbulence. The experience is akin to that of being placed inside of a washing machine....but instead of Tide you get susu pani ("pee pee water"). Not good.

Prior to my hit and run effort this evening these are my Top 5 Peeing Moments (in reverse order):

5. Peeing next to the Olympic Arena in Barcelona
4. My first time peeing in Central Park (it's my way of marking my city)
3. Nearly peeing on a hobo in Chicago
2. Peeing in someone elses closet while dj'ing since I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time
1. Although it doesn't involve me peeing, watching a man pee on a dog in India....and the dog just like was sitting there. It was surreal.

Call me loco, but all of this points to an underlying Universal Truth. There is no creature comfort better in life than using your own bathroom. Other bathrooms can be more regal, other bathrooms can be larger, but there is a piece of mind that goes with using your own Facilities with the benefit of having the comfort of familiar surroundings.

*PS: the picture at the top and to the right is sadly not me peeing, but rather one I took of a friend's efforts to fertilize a golf course

Sunday, February 11, 2007

"We do, with the help of God"

Sometimes life is a good interlude into, well, life. This past weekend I was in Virginia for my God Son's Baptism (the gorgeous baby to the right). Yes, my friends, I'm the Godfather. Who would've thunk? The underlying thing of course is the interesting side note that I'm not Christian. As it turns out brown boy is pro-polytheism.

The whole thing is funny because as this weekend has approached I thought of three things mainly:

1) the crash and burn experience known as the last time I was in Virginia, one year ago
2) after watching last week's episode of The Office I couldn't help but wonder if I get any special privileges with the God Mother
3) was this whole thing a thinly veiled ceremony to really baptise me?


Well truth be told nothing of that sort happened although I did keep a healthy distance from the Baptismal water just in case the priest wanted to splash me. You never can be sure, even though he seemed like a pretty cool guy. Before the ceremony I was standing next to him for a few moments and I broke the silence by asking "Soooo, you come here often?". He chuckled and responded "I come here once in a while." (also while doing a microphone check prior to the service when he said "hello" it was on way too high causing his voice to resonate loudly in the church to which he said "whoa, that's a bit too God-like, let's turn it down a touch")

What was pretty interesting and unique was that at the end of the service (the Baptism is a part of the weekly service) this particular congregation has a portion where individuals can speak aloud about things which are going well in their life and things which are going poorly. Now I'm not sure how many people feel okay with being open about these things and I know that having this at a church is rather unique, but this is something you wouldn't really see at temples I think. I mean moving away from a religion comparison, just looking at Indian people there is a universal desire to not let others know too much about what's going well and not well at all. In other words, don't tell the family secrets....surely you've heard those words before. As a kid I never knew what these secrets were...perhaps they revolved around the fact that I have a pet peeve of liking my toilet paper to roll outwards as opposed to having it roll inwards, and I will actively change the toilet paper setup in a bathroom in order to suit my fancy of course only in my own home or relatives... but whatever these other secrets were I was not to divulge.

* "We do, with the help of God" is the line the God parents had to say in front of the church

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Astro-Nut

By now I'm sure most of you have heard about bizarre love triangle of the NASA astronaut who tried to kill another woman who was encroaching upon her beloved astronaut. If you hadn't heard about it then the sentence preceding this one is a pretty good synopsis.

In any case I think we all can tell what is an obvious conclusion from this whole spectacle: Women should be banned from space. They go crazy there! I mean truth be told some are pretty nutso at sea level, but take them to space and that's just a whole other ballgame. They go nutso. So in the future perhaps we should all be better served by just keeping them on the ground and only let them fly when supervised. This I think is a pretty rational and reasonable viewpoint at this whole debacle

Friday, February 9, 2007

Thursday, February 8, 2007

DJ Shakes_2007-02-08 (Cali)

http://hbshakes.blogspot.com
theme: I miss California

Okay, as Mother Nature makes her bid to reverse all global warming trends over the course of one week my feelings for wanting to be home have only intensified. I miss Southern California. As such this is my little ode to home, with songs about L.A., surf rock (easy going rock with male harmonies, hence the The Shins in the tradition of the Beach Boys), and a song here and there of what I used to listen to while growing up (hence Stone Temple Pilots & Rancid).

T R A C K L I S T I N G (approx 57min)

[0:00] Intro - Me
[0:56] Albert Hammond - It Never Rains In Southern California
[4:30] Randy Newman - I Love L.A.
[7:21] Sheryl Crowe - All I Wanna Do
[11:15] Sublime - Doin' Time
[15:02] 2Pac - To Live and Die in LA
[19:00] Notorious B.IG. - Going Back to Cali
[22:47] The Mamas & The Papas - California Dreamin'
[25:16] Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under The Bridge
[29:06] Beach Boys - Wouldn't It Be Nice
[31:25] Counting Crows - A Long December
[36:09] Stone Temple Pilots - Interstate Love Song
[39:10] Rancid - Time Bomb
[41:30] The Shins - Phantom Limb
[46:02] Stealers Wheel - Stuck in the Middle With You (from Reservoir Dogs)
[49:12] The Lively Ones - Surf Rider
[52:20] Beach Boys - Help Me Rhonda
[55:18] The Tornadoes - Bustin' Surfboards


Of all the mixes I've made, this one will appeal to the least number of people I think, and that's okay. I can always make a bhangra mix later that will get like half of the Punjab to download it. In the meantime don't forget, everything is better in Orange County. That being said, please note that there isn't that song "California" by the Phantom Planets because I hated the TV show The O.C... When the Chili Peppers sang about Californication, that's the kinda shit they were warning about.

When I think about songs like "Long December" by the Counting Crows it makes me remember very much my first year in college. Staring out of my window in Chicago at the grey and snowy winters made me feel miserable and hearing lines like "Feeling like it's all a lot of oysters and no pearls...and it's one more night in Hollywood, to think that you might come to California, I think you should" struck a cord with me. It's just a good song to feel sad to and long for home.

DIRECTIONS: Right mouse click on the tracklisting above to save the entire mix (mp3) directly or Podcast Me! Simply drag the orange podcast icon on the top left of this page into your iTunes. Or:

1. goto iTunes
2. click on Advanced
3. click on Subscribe to Podcast:
4. paste this URL http://feeds.feedburner.com/EngineEngine9

(If the link doesn't work, just message me and I'll upload the file again)

Monday, February 5, 2007

mutual ass kickings, meeting Alice from Monsoon wedding, & Major Chaddi Tattiram

In life there is good news and bad news. The good news is that tomorrow is expected to be twice as hot as today. The bad news is that today was 4 degrees.

In a weird way having it so damn cold creates a rather interesting social phenomenon. People seem to be friendlier and relate to one another when they have a mutual shit kicking. The best example is in college when you finish finals and find yourself talking to random people about how much you just had your ass ripped from your hide and handed to you on a nice platter.

Likewise crawling into a warm subway station on a night like this is a support group for those who have been collectively ass kicked. After removing gloves and various headgarments it's sorta funny to look around and see your fellow human and ask them if they're alright. Of course when your face is frozen you can't really enunciate words so it sounds more like "yoo awwiiiite?"....to which they tend to dutifully reply "me goooo it coooolud"

This of course followed a quick dinner in the West Village where yours truly ran into Tilotama Shome....or better known as the maid Alice from the movie "Monsoon Wedding". (or "A-lice" as her male counterpoint P.K. Dubey would say in the movie) It's odd because while she may not be a bollywood star like Rani Mukherjee or anything, her face has to be amongst the more recognizable of recent film lore. She currently is still pursuing an acting career by making ends meet in the city and going to school.

..All of this which finishes with my cousin who's getting his own radio show at Emory to play non-Bollywood songs, Thursdays midnite-1am (EST) that will also stream online live . I don't wanna give anything away but let's just say that a certain listener named Major Chaddi Tattiram* will try to make a call onto the show.

Oh it's gonna be big. Oh yes.

* "Major Chaddi Tattiram" loosely translates into Major Crappy Underwear

Sunday, February 4, 2007

no Bears.

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Tipping, it's not just a city in China

People often write to me and say "I like your objective viewpoints on religion, science, and current affairs, but can you include more posts on things you personally like and dislike?"

Well readers from Germany and Dubai, wait no more.

Little things have a way of becoming of very annoying to me. One of them is tipping. It's not so much of how much people tip or don't tip, it's how they calculate tip. People should be able to tip without having to use a calculator. It baffles me how many people need to use their cellphone to figure out simple calculations. I mean it's not like this is quantum physics. Furthermore I find it annoying when people feel the need to calculate tip down to the cents....after all 15% is 15%. Come on people, you can just round to the nearest dollar. It's okay to pay someone 67cents more...

Friday, February 2, 2007

"Red Rov-er, Red Rov-er, send my only chance to meet a girl right ov-er"

Life used to be so simple. As a kid one of the bestest games that you could play when you didn't have a ball was Red Rover, Red Rover. Basically a bunch of kids would hold hands on one side of a court and another group of kids would line up holding hands facing them. The goal is for the two sides to take turns calling to the other side and challenge a kid to try to run over to their side and break through the chain of hands. If the kid succeeded and ran through a link of holding hands, then they were able to pick one kid from the line to bring over to his side. If the kid failed then he had to join the other side. The side with all the kids at the end won (duh).

Like I said, if you have a group of friends at recess and you're stuck without a ball of some sorts you're pretty much limited as to what sports you can play...

As any cool kid knows, Red Rover was not about winning....the goal as a boy was to spot the portion of the chain where a group of girls was, and purposely fail to break the chain. Thus you are "forced" to hold hands with the girls. What a life. As far as being a loser goes, it's a pretty solid reward.