Saturday, January 13, 2007

Super Fan #99

I love the L.A Kings, I love them. Anyone who really knows me, knows this. I would say that my love for them exceeds my love even for the L.A. Lakers. The problem is that they've sorta sucked the past few years. But like any member of a good, healthy relationship it's important to keep the faith despite being constantly let down and watching the other side give only a half-ass effort despite your all-out enthusiasm.

I think you can measure one's loyalty to a sports team by using this following equation:

True Love = (Enthusiasm for Team)/(Success of Team)

Hence if you really like sucky teams (large numerator, small denominator), your love is infinitely large. If you're a person who casually likes good teams (i.e. bandwagon fan) then you have a small amount of enthusiam (small numerator) for a highly successful team (large denominator). Hence you don't have a lot of true love. In fact in order to exhibit any True Love as a bandwagon fan you basically have to paint your face at games and drive to New Jersey. It's really quite simple. Math, who would've thunk that it could be useful?

I think it's also pretty easy to see that this formula can be applied outside of the realm of sports when identifying and valuing love.

Whenever I'm feeling low about hockey the following clip from the movie "Swingers" has always made me feel better, despite the egregious violence to my beloved team and the beloved Wayne Gretzky.

It's because of this clip...and always seeming to lose while playing NHL '96 in college... that I would be taunted by being called Super Fan #99.

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