Saturday, December 30, 2006

nooo, big white Reebok shoes have never looked cool on Indians...

As the year draws to a close I think it's important to come clean on certain issues and reveal to people our innermost thoughts. As such I wanted to reveal that ever since college I've become uber jealous of Japanese people. Japanese kids can wear anything they want and look cool with it.

Cowboy hat with Vans shoes? No problem.
Fargo-esque monkey hat with a faded t-shirt that says "Atari" in a cheesy font? Blammo.
Pencil thin jeans with a bright orange jacket? Bring it on.
Camouflage shorts with a puffy vest? Konichiwa bitches.

Meanwhile if an Indian kid wears the very same clothes he'll look like an idiot. Tragically unhip if you will. (Although to be fair it really wouldn't be "tragic" in a classic sense because according to Aristotle a true tragedy must involve several key components, one of them being that bad shit happens to a noble figure...and many desi kids are not noble figures, far from it...). If you wear brightly colored clothing it looks like you were told to wear these odd clothes as opposed to it being a fashion choice. If you wear t-shirts with random 1980's pop culture references it looks like that was actually a shirt you used to own back in the day.

To put it another way, no matter how much we may try, most Indians cannot pull off the difficult fashion maneuver of ironic-cheesey-coolness that has become so trendy over the past 2-3 years (Exhibit A: everything sold at Urban Outfitters) that the Japanese have mastered.

Also on a sidenote, can someone just admit to the fact that 95% of the clothes at Armani Exchange sucks ass? I know it says "Armani" and they're expensive, but c'mon people! Try to display some independent fashion tastes. I mean this is the kinda store which the movie "Zoolander" was practically made to mock with its derelicte fashion line. A lot of AX's stuff looks like trash and I have no idea why so many SIGs (Shady Indian Guys) feel the need to wear AX hats. Chicks don't dig big logos on guys. I don't know this for a fact, but I'm willing to argue/hope that most girls older than the age of 17 do not get moved by this...

Some people may say "Hey Shakes, while this is a great series of points, why do you feel the need to write about this nonsense in the middle of the night while you're on vacation in Bermuda?" My response: Because it's just that important, dammit. My poeple have suffered far too long without being able to realize these things for themselves.

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