[editor's note: touchy feely post ahead]
Last night after sitting on a beach in Bermuda near midnight in proper formal clothes an idea struck me: maybe we (myself and party of 4 others) should jump into the Atlantic for a wade. The shocked look on everyone's face wasn't because we would have to sort out how to dry ourselves off, wipe sand off, and not ruin our clothes....it was because I was the one said it. Go figure. Why was it odd that I said it? I'm not usually that concervative, am I? My favorite motto maybe that "the best fun is planned fun" and I do consider myself to be a voice of practicality when people have outlandish ideas that have no hope of striking gold, but I'm not unspontaneous, am I? I like to crazy things sometimes. I like to spray unsuspecting people with my water gun from my window at night. That's crazy right?
But when did I become this way? When did I become so pragmatic that I'm on the borderline of being a killjoy? Why is it that when the others are thinking about renting scooters to ride up and down the island my first thought it "ooh, this could be dangerous, something bad could happen" when I know deep down inside that I'll be the one who enjoys it the most (and I would argue did...as some of the others got annoyed for me going too fast).
It's odd that sometimes the only time you ask yourself why you got the way you did is when you remove yourself from the environment that helped create you. Okay maybe I'm going a bit overboard on the touchy feely side of things, after all most of you are probably here for some joke about random observations that I make as opposed to my own personal musings. Fair enough, well think about this fact, there are a shitload of desis in Bermuda. Most of them work in the service industry and it's pretty bizarro coming to an English territory to see British people with the proper jobs and Indians slaving away. So much for 1947...the sun will always shine on the British Empire as long as they have Bermuda...and they act like the 51st state of the US.
Okay back to me, during the mid 1800s in the Age of Enlightenment the prevailing tenet was that reason and rationality were the guiding lights in science, medicine, and society as a whole. Deducible rationality can explain why things are the way they are. That being said there was a minority view that reason and rationality couldn't explain the most important things like. While these irrationalists felt there was a certain logic to things, a scientist could never reason on how animal evolution (for example) would play out. Likewise I'd love to see Roussea try to explain Love, why the Beatles broke up, or why we can't just recognize that it's J-Timberlake not Usher who is the real King of Pop.
In a similar vein it's not exactly rocket science to apply this thinking to how your own personality develops. Its creative evolution occurs in little twists and turns through days, weeks, and years that seem very insignificant until you take a look back and you wonder what happened to me? And yet when you pick apart the little facets of who you are it all makes perfect sense.
So my parting thought is a highly unstunning and unexciting postulate that sometimes it's okay to be happy with you how you turned out. Your new years resolution should be less about being a different person (both for nice self-esteem reasons and the practical one that you're not really gonna hold onto your resolution past 3 weeks) but rather to accent different parts of what you do well and to do more of it.
If I may delve into the slighty personal side of things for one more moment, 2006 may have been my hardest personal year ever and I'm pretty happy to see it go, but as much as I have a vision of things I'd like to see happen next year I think all being said if I were to end up in the exact same place 365 days from now, I'd be okay with things...it would just make my 2008 that much more stressful.