Sunday, December 31, 2006

Final Thoughts for 2006

[editor's note: touchy feely post ahead]

Last night after sitting on a beach in Bermuda near midnight in proper formal clothes an idea struck me: maybe we (myself and party of 4 others) should jump into the Atlantic for a wade. The shocked look on everyone's face wasn't because we would have to sort out how to dry ourselves off, wipe sand off, and not ruin our clothes....it was because I was the one said it. Go figure. Why was it odd that I said it? I'm not usually that concervative, am I? My favorite motto maybe that "the best fun is planned fun" and I do consider myself to be a voice of practicality when people have outlandish ideas that have no hope of striking gold, but I'm not unspontaneous, am I? I like to crazy things sometimes. I like to spray unsuspecting people with my water gun from my window at night. That's crazy right?

But when did I become this way? When did I become so pragmatic that I'm on the borderline of being a killjoy? Why is it that when the others are thinking about renting scooters to ride up and down the island my first thought it "ooh, this could be dangerous, something bad could happen" when I know deep down inside that I'll be the one who enjoys it the most (and I would argue did...as some of the others got annoyed for me going too fast).

It's odd that sometimes the only time you ask yourself why you got the way you did is when you remove yourself from the environment that helped create you. Okay maybe I'm going a bit overboard on the touchy feely side of things, after all most of you are probably here for some joke about random observations that I make as opposed to my own personal musings. Fair enough, well think about this fact, there are a shitload of desis in Bermuda. Most of them work in the service industry and it's pretty bizarro coming to an English territory to see British people with the proper jobs and Indians slaving away. So much for 1947...the sun will always shine on the British Empire as long as they have Bermuda...and they act like the 51st state of the US.

There. Happy?

Okay back to me, during the mid 1800s in the Age of Enlightenment the prevailing tenet was that reason and rationality were the guiding lights in science, medicine, and society as a whole. Deducible rationality can explain why things are the way they are. That being said there was a minority view that reason and rationality couldn't explain the most important things like. While these irrationalists felt there was a certain logic to things, a scientist could never reason on how animal evolution (for example) would play out. Likewise I'd love to see Roussea try to explain Love, why the Beatles broke up, or why we can't just recognize that it's J-Timberlake not Usher who is the real King of Pop.

In a similar vein it's not exactly rocket science to apply this thinking to how your own personality develops. Its creative evolution occurs in little twists and turns through days, weeks, and years that seem very insignificant until you take a look back and you wonder what happened to me? And yet when you pick apart the little facets of who you are it all makes perfect sense.

So my parting thought is a highly unstunning and unexciting postulate that sometimes it's okay to be happy with you how you turned out. Your new years resolution should be less about being a different person (both for nice self-esteem reasons and the practical one that you're not really gonna hold onto your resolution past 3 weeks) but rather to accent different parts of what you do well and to do more of it.

If I may delve into the slighty personal side of things for one more moment, 2006 may have been my hardest personal year ever and I'm pretty happy to see it go, but as much as I have a vision of things I'd like to see happen next year I think all being said if I were to end up in the exact same place 365 days from now, I'd be okay with things...it would just make my 2008 that much more stressful.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

nooo, big white Reebok shoes have never looked cool on Indians...

As the year draws to a close I think it's important to come clean on certain issues and reveal to people our innermost thoughts. As such I wanted to reveal that ever since college I've become uber jealous of Japanese people. Japanese kids can wear anything they want and look cool with it.

Cowboy hat with Vans shoes? No problem.
Fargo-esque monkey hat with a faded t-shirt that says "Atari" in a cheesy font? Blammo.
Pencil thin jeans with a bright orange jacket? Bring it on.
Camouflage shorts with a puffy vest? Konichiwa bitches.

Meanwhile if an Indian kid wears the very same clothes he'll look like an idiot. Tragically unhip if you will. (Although to be fair it really wouldn't be "tragic" in a classic sense because according to Aristotle a true tragedy must involve several key components, one of them being that bad shit happens to a noble figure...and many desi kids are not noble figures, far from it...). If you wear brightly colored clothing it looks like you were told to wear these odd clothes as opposed to it being a fashion choice. If you wear t-shirts with random 1980's pop culture references it looks like that was actually a shirt you used to own back in the day.

To put it another way, no matter how much we may try, most Indians cannot pull off the difficult fashion maneuver of ironic-cheesey-coolness that has become so trendy over the past 2-3 years (Exhibit A: everything sold at Urban Outfitters) that the Japanese have mastered.

Also on a sidenote, can someone just admit to the fact that 95% of the clothes at Armani Exchange sucks ass? I know it says "Armani" and they're expensive, but c'mon people! Try to display some independent fashion tastes. I mean this is the kinda store which the movie "Zoolander" was practically made to mock with its derelicte fashion line. A lot of AX's stuff looks like trash and I have no idea why so many SIGs (Shady Indian Guys) feel the need to wear AX hats. Chicks don't dig big logos on guys. I don't know this for a fact, but I'm willing to argue/hope that most girls older than the age of 17 do not get moved by this...

Some people may say "Hey Shakes, while this is a great series of points, why do you feel the need to write about this nonsense in the middle of the night while you're on vacation in Bermuda?" My response: Because it's just that important, dammit. My poeple have suffered far too long without being able to realize these things for themselves.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

fyi...

...by the way, for those of you who didn't know, in 2007 I've decided that I'm gonna bring sexy back.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

James Brown is dead!

Hopefully some of you got the title's allusion to the song by L.A. Style ... but it's true he is dead. Now if you're gonna claim that you didn't really know anything about him, the chances are that everytime you turned your radio on you were listening to him... or if you've ever seen The Cosby Show episode when the family dances to "I Got That Feelin' " in celebration of Cliff's parent's 49th anniversary.

I tried to figure out if there was one comprehensive list of all the hip hop songs that sampled him, but the reality is that so many of them never got offical approval. They were sorta "borrowed." So with some help from an old blog called Sample Spotters, here's a pretty comprehensive list of people who used samples from just one song (albeit one of the most popular ones...so it's not exactly a random sample) "The Funky Drummer" from 1969:
2 Live Crew: Coolin'
808 State: Pacific 202
A Tribe Called Quest: Seperate / Together
Above the Law: Murder Rap, Untouchables, What Cha Can Prove
Allison Williams: Sleep Talk
Aphrodite: Velvet Seduction
Awesome Dre: Frankly Speaking
Beastie Boys: Shadrach
Big Daddy Kane: Mortal Combat
Biz Markie: Spring Again
Black Rock & Ron: Stop the World
Breeze: Great Big Freak
BWP: A Different Category
Cash Money & Marvelous: Drawers
Choice MC: Bad A-s B----h
Chubb Rock: Bump the Floor, Talkin' Loud, Ain't Sayin' Jack
Coldcut: Say Kids, What Time is It?
Compton's Most Wanted: The Final Chapter, Wanted
Conscious:Unconscious
Convicts: I Like Boning
CPO: Flow to the Rhythm
Criminal Nation: I'm Rollin', Insane, It's a Black Thing, The Right Crowd
De la Soul: Oodles of O's
Deep Forest: Deep Forest
Depeche Mode: My Joy
Derek B: Get Down, Human Time Bomb
Digable Planets: Where I'm From
DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince: 2 Damn Hype, Hip Hop Dancer's Theme, Jazzy's Groove, Magnificent Jazzy Jeff, Pump up the Bass
DJ Mark the 45 King ft Lakim Shabazz: When a Wise Man Speaks
DJ Master T: Wind Me Up
DOC: Let the Bass Go
Domination: Back at it Again
Dr. Dre: Let Me Ride
Eazy-E: We Want Eazy
Enigma: Carly's Song
Eric B & Rakim: Lyrics of Fury, Paid in Full, Relax with Pep
Father MC: Ain't it Funky
Fine Young Cannibals: I'm Not the Man I Used to Be
Freddie Foxx: F. F. is Here
Fresh 4: Wishing on a Star
GangStarr: 2 Deep
George Michael: Waiting for That Day/You Can't Always Get. . .
Geto Boys: Mind of a Lunatic, Read These Nikes
Goats: TV Cops
Gus Gus: Purple
Guy: I Like
Hard Knocks: A Blow to the Head
Heavy D: Peaceful Journey, We Got Our Own Thang
Hi-C: Take a Ride
HWA: Trick is a Trick
Ice Cube: Endangered Species, Jackin' for Beats
Ice T: I Ain't New Ta This, Original Gangster, Radio Suckers,
James Brown: She Looks All Types A' Good
Jaz: The Originators
Kid 'N Play: Foreplay, Slippin'
Kid Sensation: Emergency
King Sun: King Sun with the Sword
Kool G Rap: It's a Demo, The Butcher Shop
Kool Moe Dee: Bad, Bad, Bad, I'm Blowing Up, Knowledge is King
Korn & the Dust Brothers: Kick the P.A.
Kris Kross: Jump, Lil' Boys in Da Hood
Kwame: The Rhythm
Lakim Shabazz: Black is Back
Leaders of the New School: Sobb Story, Teachers, Don't Teach Us Nonsense
LL Cool J: Boomin' System, Fast Peg, Mama Said Knock You Out, Nitro, Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?
Low Profile: Make Room for. . .
Maestro Fresh Wes: Let Your Backbone Slide
Mantronix ft Wondress: Got to Have Your Love, Fresh is the Word
Marky Mark: Good Vibrations
Masters at Work: Jus' a Lil' Dope
MC Frontalot: Good Old Clyde
MC Lyte: Brooklyn
MC Shan: So Def, So Fresh
MC Smooth: Blow the Whistle
Mellow Man Ace: Hypest from Cypress, River Cubano
Michel'le: No More Lies
Michie Mee: Jamaican Funk Canadian Style
Milli Vanilli: Girl you know it's true
Ministere Amer: Traitres
Mistress & DJ Madame E: Hypergroove, Show 'em How We Play
MMG: Only the Strong Survive
Mobb Deep: Flavor for the Non-Believes
Nas: Get Down
Naughty by Nature: Hot Potato, Ready for Dem
New Order: Ruined in a Day
Nikki D: Freak Accident, Gotta up the Ante for the Panties
Nine Inch Nails: Piggy (Nothing Can Stop Me Now)
No Face: Half
NWA: F--k tha Police, Quiet on tha Set
Omni Trio: Nu Birth of Cool
Paperboy: The Nine Yards
Paris: I Call Him Mad, On the Prowl, The Devil Made Me Do It
Pete Rock & CL Smooth: Go with the Flow
P-Funk All Stars: Dope Dogs
Pharcyde: Officer
Prince Johnny C: Comin' to Get Ya, Kevey Kev is a Dancer with Soul
Prince: Gangster Glam, Gett Off, My Name is Prince
Public Enemy: Bring the Noise, Fight the Power, Hazy Shade of Criminal, Rebel Without a Pause, She Watch Channel Zero, Terminator X to the Edge of Panic, The Enemy Assault Vehicle Mixx
Redman: Rated R
Roxanne Shante: Have a Nice Day
Run-DMC: Back from Hell, Beats to the Rhyme, Run's House, Word is Born
Salt-N-Pepa: Let the Rhythm Run
Scarface: Born Killer
Sinead O'Connor: I Am Stretched on Your Grave
Sir Mix-A-Lot: No Holds Barred
Slayer & Atari Teenage Riot: No Remorse (I Wanna Die)
Slick Rick: The Moment I Feared
Smooth Ice: I'm Coming, Without a Pause
Sons of Bazerk: One Time for the Rebel
South Central Cartel: Neighborhood Jacka
Stetsasonic: DBC Let the Music Play, Sally, Speaking of a Girl Named Suzy, The Hip Hop Band
Stop the Violence Movement: Self-Destruction
Style: Victim to the Vinyl
Sublime: Scarlet Begonias
Super Lover Cee & Casanova Rud: Do the James, Let the Drummer Get Ill
Sweet T: My Beat
Tim Dog: Goin Wild in the Penile, Low Down N---a
TLC: Shock Dat Monkey
True Mathematics: For the Lover in You
Tung Twista: No Peace Sign
Tupac ft Richie Rich: Lie to Kick It
Ultramagnetic MC: Give the Drummer Some, Moe Love on the One & Two
Vanilla Ice: Stop That Train
Wagon Christ: Filthy Drummer
WC & the Maad Circle: Ghetto Serenade
Yomo & Maulkie: Mockingbird
YZ: Return of the Holy One
Z-Trip: Rockstar, Rockstar 2
...and yes you did just see Vanilla Ice in that list. Your eyes aren't lying. The drums themselves are played by Clyde Stubblefield, so I guess you could literally call him the Funky Drummer. Anyhoo, that is my James Brown tribute...

Monday, December 25, 2006

stealing from Santa, my brother, & blackmail

As millions of kids start slowly waking up to trees full of toys one thing struck me, why do kids try to stay awake to see Santa? When I was much younger and less of a sage I decided I would sleep in our living room by our tree in order to capture Santa. I'm not sure what I was looking to achieve but it seemed like a noble enough cause. I mean it's not like you need to spot Santa in order to ensure that you get your presents, I mean that part is going to happen anyways. The reality is I, like most kids, didn't really have a gameplan as to what I would do once I spotted him.

What's funny is that many years later (i.e. now) I've actually thought about what the ideal Santa Scenario would be. If I spotted Santa in my living room I'd probably try to steal his sack of toys. I mean think about it, getting your own toys is well....err...child's play, the money shot would be to steal the loot that would go to all the other kids. Plus let's be honest, often times Santa saved his better toys for the kids across the street. What a jerk face. In fact it strikes me as incredible that no other kid that I've come across has thought about this robbing Santa idea. It's ingenious.
If I could do it all over again Santa would have a lot of explaining to do when he shows up broke at other kids' homes. Is it better to give than to receive? Yes of course, especially when you have all the loot to choose from for what you want to give.

That being said my other Christmas thought is that every family that has a tree goes through their own present opening tradition. I think very rarely are kids allowed to rip right through their presents like they do in movies. In my family you had to do two things:

1) make sure everyone in the house was awake
2) open your presents in a rotating order with other family

The culmination of these two events usually make the Christmas festivities go about 5 hours longer than the average kid (me) could wait for. Rules #1 was done primarily for the benefit of the parental units as they would make egregious demands like making them tea and coffee before they officially "wake up." Sadly jumping on people didn't work like it used to.

Somewhere between the ages of 8 and 13 my brother started to abuse this as well by asking that I prepare him things. He basically got over the fascination/desire of waking up at 5am to open presents only to see our parents make their annual demands. So when he realized that I was always waking up anyways he stopped getting up. Why work when you have the younger brother become the errand boy while he blissfully slept. Furthermore he had the audacity to make demands of his own. He knew his power was limited baed on when mom and dad arose, so our conversations would go something like this:
[6am]
Me: Hey wake up!
Brother: Are mom and dad up?*
Me: No. We have to wake them!
Brother: Okay excellent, tell me when they wake up. Also make me some toast
Me: @#$@#$@%!~
Years later of course I got wise to the game and resorted to lying. This transformed our morning-time interactions to this:
[6am]
Me: Hey wake up!
Brother: Are mom and dad up?
Me: Yes!
Brother: Really?
Me: Yes they are!
Brother: Have they had their tea and coffee and stuff?
Me: Yes, they are waiting by the tree! You are the last one!
Brother: Oh, okay...

[15minutes later, sitting by a vacant tree]
Brother: Dude mom and dad are still brushing
Me: Yes.
Brother: Why did you lie to me?
Me: I dunno
Brother: I'm going back to bed
Me: Aw c'mon...mooooooooom
...and so on and so forth. So to all the blackmailing brothers out there, Merry Christmas.


*on a sidenote, isn't it interesting that you always say "mom and dad" never "dad and mom"

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Global Warming is Fantastic!

Who needs a White Christmas when you have weather in the mid-60s two days before Xmas? Today's weather may be the most unexpected thing since the time I discovered that the female vocalist in the song "Rapture" by IIO is a Pakistani girl by the name of Nadia Ali.

As such the only thing which makes today even more perfect is my obtaining of fried chicken, cole slaw, and mashed potatoes from KFC.

Roberto Benigni is right, life is beautiful.

Friday, December 22, 2006

it's better to give than to receive...

...and sometimes what we need to give others is simple advice, like "Hey Lafawnduh, those jeans don't quite fit your body no more... you're making them explode."

Now some people may ask why is it that i'm going around in shopping malls taking pictures of people's bums? Is it for my own pleasure? Is it for my own enjoyment? I answer with an emphatic "no." No. I put myself out there on the line for the benefit of my readers. It's a public service really.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

bring back nelly furtado

Once upon a time Nelly Furtado was sweet and nice. She like a bird, she could only fly away. Then she became all weird like Gwen Stefani and not as sweet. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I don't even recognize her anymore. Woe is me.

I used to think that I would marry Nelly. Now I'm not so sure. Okay I still probably would, but I'd require a dowry now.

These are my thoughts. Discuss.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

This just in from the biased news department...

U2's new video for the single "Window in the Skies" is just awesome. The band released it on YouTube before anywhere else and you can watch it below:


The video itself is a montage of other singers from concert and video footage which makes them look like they're singing bits of U2's song through a phenomenal job of editing. The real question is how many of the artists can you identify in the video. There are only 4 or 5 brief U2 cameos in it and there are like over 30 other artists, from Elvis to Nat King Cole. Although this is by no means the official list, and there are some gaps, it's something like this based on other people's thoughts and my own:

00:14 Frank Zappa
00:17 Billie Holiday
00:19 Simon & Garfunkel
00:20 Roy Orbison
00:23 Aretha Franklin
00:24 Bob Marley
00:33 Louis Amstrong
00:38 David Bowie
00:44 Lou Reed
00:46 Frank Sinatra
00:47 John Stirratt (Wilco)
00:49 Kanye West
00:50 Johnny Rotten? (Sex Pistols)
00:51 Mick Jones (The Clash)
00:52 Nat King Cole
01:01 Sam Cooke
01:02 Ozzy Osbourne
01:15 Nirvana
01:26 Johnny Cash
01:27 Iggy Pop
01:31 Paul McCartney
01:33 Thom Yorke (Radiohead)
01:34 Mary J. Blige
01:36 Red Hot Chili Peppers (?)
01:38 Elvis
01:46 Jon Bon Jovi
01:47 Britney Spears
01:48 Elton John
02:08 Adam Clayton
02:16 Arcade Fire
02:21 Keith Richards
02:22 George Harrison (Beatles of course)
02:23 Jimmy Hendrix
02:30 Adam Clayton
02:32 Chrissy Hinde
02:33 Alicia Keys
02:34 Ray Charles
02:39 Sam Cooke
02:43 David Bowie
02:45 Smokey Robinson
02:47 Elvis
02:51 Robert Plant
02:52 Vladimir Horowitz (Pianist)
02:55 Tina Turner
02:57 Dusty Springfield
03:03 Queen (?)
03:07 James Brown
03:12 David Byrne (Talking Heads)
03:21 Adam (dark glasses) and Edge
03:26 Jerry Lee Lewis
03:29 Bono
03:33 Larry Mullen
03:36 Patti Smith
03:37 Steve Wonder
03:47 Pete Townshed
03:51 Edge
03:54 Adam
03:55 Edge
03:56 Larry Mullen
04:04 Frank Sinatra

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The Greatest Office Christmas Prank Ever

People often come up to me and say "Hey Shakes, you celebrate Christmas in a non-religious manner, how should I join in the festivities?" Well you've come to the right place. I think a very practical and cost-effective strategy is to take a cue from the Griswolds and decorate the roof of your house with lights that can be seen from space along with a mechanical fake deer (one with a red nose of course) on your front lawn and a miniature replica of the Nativity Scene. All of this should cost you no more than several thousands of dollars and a few man hours.

What's that you say? You seem excited by the prospects of spending so much money but you are lacking a house to do it at? This is indeed a bad sitch my friend. Have no fear my friends, have I got an idea for you...

Well the next best thing is to bring the holiday cheer to work! Impossible you say? Do you work on floor full of cubicles that reminds you more of Alcatraz than the North Pole? Are the prospects of the Grinch walking into your cube and stealing your soul more likely than Santa Clause dropping off some presents?

Well have no fear.

With a little bit of work you too can do what my brother did to a co-worker (Glenn) while he was out of the office for a week and decorate a cube in the holiday spirit...and no my brother is not the Indian dude who appears in some of the pictures below, that's someone else. All Indians don't look alike. Sheesh. That's just racist people....

STEP 1: Identify a cubicle of a co-worker and enlist the help of several people at work. Home Depot provides great construction material for the frame.










STEP 2: After assembling a frame, proceed to make a roof












STEP 3: Every good cubicle home needs a front door


















STEP 4: Decorate the cubicle house in a Christmas manner, add a chimney and presto! You have your very own Santa's workshop in the middle of your office!











STEP 5: Watch as the owner of the cubicle (Glenn) returns to work and is forced to work inside his little workshop for the past few days because he is unable to dismantle the whole thing by himself.









STEP 6: (Bonus points) Get former President and peanut farmer Jimmy Carter's seal of approval















Now I don't want to pretend that I'm the complete authority on Christmas and/or pranks, but if this isn't the greatest thing ever, I'm not sure what is.

[back to the top of the blog!]

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Lost: my Chapstick

My Chapstick has now been missing for two days. If anyone has any knowledge of it's whereabouts or even hints that it may have been hanging out with someone else's lips, please let me now. I will negotiate a reward if needed. Please I just want my Cherry Chapstick back with its adoreable little white cap. I've posted an artist rendering of it here as well, so hopefully that helps.

To be fair I don't think any human being has actually maintained possession of their Chapstick long enough to actually use the whole thing up. In an odd poetic way Chapsticks are meant to get lost. It's almost like a seasonal metaphor for life: It is better to have moisturized your lips and lost, then to have parched lips forever.

Poignant. Touching. True.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

an ode to my missing chapstick


O' Chapstick Where Art Thou?


O' where O' where can my Chapstick be?
O' where O ' where could it beeee?

As a lip balm ointment
With it's fla-vored assortment
I always pick cher-ry

O' bring back, bring back, bring back my Chapstick to me, to mee
O' bring back, bring back, bring back my Chapstick to me, to mee

I lose it so often
Thus my lips can't soften
It glides on magicallly

I have never finished a whole stick
Because it gets lost faster than a falling brick*
For my lip to be healthy it's keeeey

O' bring back, bring back, bring back my Chapstick to me, to mee
O' bring back, bring back, bring back my Chapstick to me, to mee

I feel like I buy a new one ev-ery week
Only to find them months later in the sum-mer heat

Every step away from me that you take
It's like watching my heart break
But I'll replace you hap-pily

By the end of winter season
I'll need no more lip healin'
You served my faithfully

O' bring back, bring back, bring back my Chapstick to me, to mee
O' bring back, bring back, bring back my Chapstick to me, to mee


*Ok I know some idiot is going to ruin my whole poem by saying "Hey how can you say that your Chapstick gets lost faster than a falling brick, a brick merely falls due to the forces of gravity which applies equally to all objects regardless of their mass?" To you I say that you are an inconsiderate brute (or brute-ette) and honestly I couldn't think of anything to rhyme with stick that would seem applicable. There, are you happy? Does that make you feel better? Sheesh.

Saturday, December 9, 2006

some day are better than others


Some days you wake up and just tell yourself that you can't do this anymore. Not getting enough sleep on a constant basis sucks. Some days you just don't have what it takes to wake up and drag yourself out of bed and go to work. This is not living. I mean sure you do it on your own volition but sometimes you feel like you still don't have a choice. The fact that you wake up early every day sorta screws up your sleep patterns so now you always stare wide eyed at your ceiling no matter how much you try to sleep.

Some days you have nothing left and as you turn towards your alarm clock and prepare to scan the time you realize, IT'S SATURDAY.

Hooray Saturday, we salute you.

Friday, December 8, 2006

the first metrosexual

Often times people think that the first metrosexual was David Beckham. I mean the guy is (was?) pretty badass on the soccer pitch and yet he's impecabbly dressed and well groomed. He's an Indian mom's dream come true...minus the whole sport part....and he's of the wrong caste... and he's like not Indian. But aside from that he's great. Well, he hasn't exactly been starting for his club team lately. But I digress...

Now while it's envouge to talk about guys being metro people these days the reality is that there was a role model for this movement that happened much much earlier in our lives. I'm not talking about Rock Hudson. I mean he was a good looking dude, but he just gay, so that pretty much disqualifies him. But I digress. I'm pretty sure we're all familiar with who I'm talking about. Scratch your noggin and don't look at the picture to the right.

That hero of course, is Vanity Smurf.

Just look at him, he's always looking at himself in the mirror, he has a flower in his hair, and kisses people on the cheek. Of like the 100 smurfs he was the only one in seemed to practice any sort of basic personal grooming techniques. (this is a little bit of a skewed statistic of course because there really was only one girl in the whole village, Smurfette, and the rest were male Smurfs...unless you count those Smurf kids that were added in later cartoons). So deep down when you strangely find yourself thinking about getting a pedicure as you're walking by some beauty salon in the mall, just think that it was work of Peyo's Vanity Smurf which implanted those ideas in your head.

...On a sidenote "The Smurfs and Magic Flute" was the first movie I ever saw in a movie theatre

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

DJ Shakes_2006-12-03 (driving music)

http://hbshakes.blogspot.com
theme: night time driving

Okay with this mix I was looking for music I like to listen to while driving. If you don't understand why I put the first song, DMX, then you must watch the opening credits from "Romeo Must Die."

T R A C K L I S T I N G (approx 70min)

[0:00] Intro - Me
[0:59] Fragile State - Seraya
[1:26] DMX - I'm Gonna Crawl
[5:16] A Tribe Called Quest - Check The Rhyme
[8:44] Rachael Starr - Till There Was You (Erick Morillo mix)
[13:50] Chemical Brothers - Electrobank
[18:27] Jay-Z - Nigga What, Nigga Who
[22:13] film: Waisa Bhi Hota Hai - Sajna Aa Bhi Jaa (Binni remix)
[25:29] Meat Beat Manifesto - Spinning Round Dub
[30:15] Bombay Dub Orchestra - Mumtaz
[33:02] The Smiths - How Soon Is Now
[37:58] U2 - Windows In The Skies
[41:40] Elastica - Stutter
[43:54] Messiah - Temple Of Dreams
[48:41] Propellerheads - On Her Majesty's Secret Service

[51:03] Afro Medusa - Pasilda (Knee Deep Club Mix)
[54:03] Beastie Boys - Root Down
[57:34] Eric B & Rakim - Know The Ledge
[61:12] Asian Dub Foundation - Culture Move

[64:26] Jeru The Damaja - Whatever
[67:16] Jay -Z vs. Russ Divine & Qatil Nazaar - Dil Ne Jise Apna Kaha


DIRECTIONS: Right mouse click on the tracklisting above to save the entire mix (mp3) directly or Podcast Me! Simply drag the orange podcast icon on the top left of this page into your iTunes. Or:
  1. goto iTunes
  2. click on Advanced
  3. click on Subscribe to Podcast:
  4. paste this URL http://feeds.feedburner.com/EngineEngine9

Friday, December 1, 2006

There is nothing more shocking than seeing something and feeling as if it is your story. (A close second is seeing a paan wala in a chaddi). I felt like this happened to me while reading "The Namesake" and at times I could identify with Hugh Grant's character in "About A Boy"....and surely everyone has felt as disconnected from the rest of the world as Zach Braff is in "Garden State."

But this is me sometimes.