Sunday, November 19, 2006

how did you get here?

One things which is good to check once in while is what makes people actually read this blog every day or so. Is it for the fantabulous writing? Is it for the feeling that for a short fleeting moment you can somehow feel like you're closely connected to a person like me? I know it's hard to believe but as it turns out a lot of people don't start their mornings with the sole explicit goal of hearing my views on random things. Shocking.

Because yours truly is a bit of a stalker I can trace what links people clicked on to come see my site. Now clearly most people love me for me and have me bookmarked in your browser right next to "CNN.com," "ButterScotchbodypaintingtips.org," and "Pandasgonewild.com" ...and then for others let's just say the fact that you're here is a bit of an accident....basically you Googled something and the next thing you know you're reading about advice on spotting desis...

Okay without further due, these are the top Google searches which somehow lead here:
  • "Rani Karnik" - Ah yes, the damsel who I wrote about many moons ago. Apparently she has no shortage of people who Google her and now I'm one more resource for the reading public
  • "that Engine Engine #9 song" - People like the group Black Sheep, they just don't know it. I've always said from day one that I want to be the link to hip-hop's roots. Sadly people like Run DMC and "artists" have taken that throne for me. Luckily Google thinks otherwise. Konichiwa bitches
  • "Air India" - Millions of Indians love the airlines. Actually they hate it, and now people see my views on the matter..
  • "Tatti" - I'm the shit. Literally.
  • "Desi" - Some people interpret my observations about Indians as implying that I don't like brown people. I respond to them by saying I am the voice of the Brown Planet.
Now with these key datapoints in mind, it's clear that if I just use certain words or phrases, unsuspecting users will be directed to my website thereby increasing my readership and increasing my grip on the brains of impressionable people around the world. Simultaneously perhaps it can be leveraged to make lady friends.

Either way I figured now would be the most appropriate time to list off a bunch of high-interest words that people Google:
  • metallic cabinet making
  • pick-up lines for Bollywood actresses
  • easy Thanksgiving recipes
  • Clooney
  • Panasonic TV sale at Best Buy
  • low mortgage rates
  • how to make your Bloomberg terminal a part of your social life
  • electro chaddi
  • new James Bond film clips!
  • (for our Chinese readers)
  • Donald Trump hair tonic
  • Rani Karnik (if it ain't broke why fix it)
I'm a star.

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