The latest season of Survivor is going to be nutso. The past few seasons have seen the competing tribe split based upon sex, age, or just totally random. This season however promises to be off the hook...the tribes are going to be separated by race. There are going to be 4 teams, Blacks, Whites, Asians, and Latinos. Although this may be considered a cheap ploy to gain ratings, the fact of the matter is that it's going to work. There's nothing quite like watching a good race war on TV.
But the real question that I think we're all left with, is why isn't there an Indian team? I don't mean to pull the race card or anything but the numbers sorta speak for themselves. There are nearly 6 billion people on earth and Indians are more than 1 billion of them (the dot kind, not the feather sort, as Jay-Z would clarify it). Not having a desi team is a rather big omission.
However using the magic of our imagination and common stereotypes, I think we can all picture how the Indian team would
- There would be no fire in the Indian camp for 4 weeks. No one on the Indian team would take the initiative and their would be massive infighting over the "Fire-Making Scheme." Finally a fire will be inadvertantly started when one ofthe trendy young males uses his Parachute brand coconut hair oil as fuel.
- No one would build a shelter. Instead everyone would scurry off to their own corner of the camp.
- While the other tribes would initially use local island coconuts to provide sustenance in the early days, the Indian tribe would destroy all their coconuts while doing a puja
- If Deepak Chopra were on the show he would be on the White team
- One of the Indian members would start a protest for an undiscernible reason and proceed to fast for 20 days. This would be his excuse for not having to do work.
- Two Indian guys (Shady Indian Guys or S.I.G's) in their mid to late 20s would only wear black pants and black shirts and cause a fight for some reason every night.
- One of the female desis would find a way to smuggle her cellphone on the island, only to see that it doesn't get any reception.
- One of male characters, "Anand," would only wear very large white reebok shoes and a dhoti
- While trying to pick a tribe leader, several members of the team would choose an Italian woman from the White team.
- The Indian team would never win a challange. Never.
- The Indian team would be the only one that would ask the host if it's possible to vote off more than one of their members at a time
- The Indian team would be the only team to call the Tribal Gatherings which occur at the end of each show as the "Tribe Function"
- After the 3rd day the desi camp would be mysteriously littered with paan stains