Thursday, July 6, 2006

Soccer Dating

Dates should be like soccer games. I'm not saying that they should involved a whole field of guys battling over one guy with a ball...not that there's anything wrong with that. I happen to love San Fran. But rather I think dates should only last 90 minutes. Plus a short intermission. At the most if there are some random disturbances an extra minute or two is added here and there.

For better or worse I form opinions of people relatively quickly and as such who needs to go through an entire meal with someone for no reason? Even more to the point is that if you don't like the person you can grab your ankle, drop to the floor, and roll around in pain in the middle of the restaurant/bar/library or wherever you are. At this point your date will be yellow carded. If she causes two such infractions she will be sent away and will have to miss the next date as well.

However, if you sorta think she's cool but she commits a serious infraction (e.g. takes calls from other people, doesn't like sports, she's a Republican, etc.) she will be immediately red carded.

You on the other hand will be treated with some magic spray, which looks eerily similar to a non-stick cooking spray, and allowed to continue meeting other people.

4 comments:

witnee said...

can i be the ref on your next date?

Menagerie said...

Hehe, that was funny!

I think I would always be red carded -- taking calls, sports!!, non-political .....I hope my potential dates don't think like you !!

Shakes said...

oh my...for the record if my date doesn't like sports it's not the end of the world or anything....and there's nothing toooo wrong having a potential date think like me. i think it's a sign of strength. or something like that.

Asian Friend said...

So there is nothing good on the Costa Rican TV and so I am whiling away my last night here on the Internets...

Bravo for using a pic of Ballack!!