Wednesday, April 12, 2006

W.W.D.D. : What Would a Desi Do?

The recent trend of bracelets saying W.W.J.D., "What Would Jesus Do?" is being used as way of getting its wearers to constantly think about the Higher consequences of their daily actions. Hokey? Mayhaps. But if it works, it works. Who am I to judge?

It is this type of deeper introspection which makes me wonder about the possiblities that would exist if this campaign existed for Indian people. The key, my friends, is to remember this helpful acronym W.W.D.D. ... What Would a Desi Do?

In order to englighten those in the dark, allow me to outline several random scenarios and let us see how the WWDD bracelet wearer should behave!

Q: You walk into a restaurant and only have enough cash to pay for your meal but no tip. Should you use your credit card or run outside to go to the ATM? What Would a Desi Do?
A: What tip? Sheesh. Just pay for your meal with your cash and don't leave a tip. If they wanted to give me good service they wouldn't charge me $2 for a can of Coke that they put on my table where they don't even pour it into another glass. Bakri chods.

Q: You're on a trip with your family of 4 and are checking into some roadside Holiday Inn. The sign at the front desk says kids under the age of 12 stay free, but your children are 27 and 23 years old respectively. What Would a Desi Do?
A: You lie to the front desk by claiming your kids are 12 and 10 to get them in for free, make sure they are not seen with you, and get them to enter the motel through a side door.

Q: You're chewing on chewing tobacco and need to spit it out, but you have just arrived at your friend's front door and can't find a garbage can outside. What Would a Desi Do?
A: You spit it out on their lawn and act like nothing happened

Q: You arrive late for a movie and see a line at the ticket counter with children and elderly women waiting in an orderly fashion. What Would a Desi Do?
A: What line? You just cut that shit. Moreover you act confused as if you don't know what you're doing.

Q: You're in college and you spot an Indian kid who is walking with people who are NOT Indian! What Would a Desi Do?
A: You find out their name and proceed to complain about the ethnic-line-crosser at the next Indian Club meeting with your other fellow Desi-Nazi's about how they're sell-outs and are not "true to their culture." Meanwhile you continue to only wear designer-label clothes, forgetting the fact that your parents forced your to wear Payless Shoes until 7th grade, and never seem bothered by the fact that you can name Shah Rukh Khan's last 5 movies but you can't name the current Indian Prime Minister.

Q: You are a boy and have decided to go out to a club. What Would a Desi Do?
A: Start a fight.

Q: You wear really big white shoes with velcro. What Would a Desi Do?
A: This is not really a question but just rather a statement of fact.


4 comments:

arati said...

This is good stuff! Do some more!

Triskadelphia said...

WTFIAD?

Shakes said...

desi = (pronounced "they-see") is a person of Indian origin

arati said...

How about this one?

Q. Your 10-year-old daughter has been invited to a sleepover party at the home of a non-desi school friend. What Would a Desi Do?

A. You sign your daughter up for classical Indian dance, Hindi and Hinduism classes so she has no time for sleepovers at the homes of loose-moraled American families that let their daughters watch "The O.C." and "Gilmore Girls."