Monday, April 24, 2006

Where's the Desi?

My previous post delved into the issue of what happens when desi's spot each other, but the Desi Stare is only made possible when a much more remarkable event occurs, that is, the desi spotting. (remember for those of you who don't know, desis, pronounced "they-see," are what you call people of Indian origin)

My ability to spot desis, or as I call it, Desar (desi + radar = desar) is remarkable. While I fail to possess marketable skills like being an accomplished musician or tremendous biceps, my Desar is like no other. I can spot Indians while driving, at airports, behind me, it's nuts. In fact my relatives often applauded me of this talent.

Now, as a caveat, I'm not considering P.O.H.I.D. as measurements of my Gift. For those of your wondering what's a P.O.H.I.D. is, it is Places Of High Indian Density. Thus places in Jackson Heights (Queens) and Edison (NJ), hell anywhere in New Jersey are ruled out of bounds. Likewise spotting Indians in India is not a gift, but rather it's called having eyes.

For those of you who are looking to improve your Desar, here's are some helpful hints. It won't show you where all the desis are, but it will help you identify P.O.H.I.P's, or rather Places Of High Indian Probability:
  1. Any store with a free give-away
  2. Any large gathering of people in a public area with a general lack or organization
  3. Any large gathering
  4. Paan stains. These are like desi footprints. Either they are around or had been around.
  5. Loud bhangra music. S.I.G.'s (Shady Indian Guys) are sure to be nearby
  6. A fight that doesn't involve guns, knives, whites, blacks, or any other ethic group
Okay, let's practice. Let's try to use a typical street scene in Manhattan as an example. Ready? Go! Where are the desis in the picture below? And remember, unlike Waldo Indians don't all wear red striped hats.Again, it takes lots of practice and patience. And remember, unlike other people, it's okay to point at Indian people, because they point at non-Indians.

(Click here to go back to my front page)


arati said...

More POHIPs:

1. Convenience stores that sell international calling cards.

2. Engineering schools.

3. In the suburbs here in the Raleigh area: New, treeless neighborhoods with giant, showy houses that have more space than a family of four can possibly use.

Anonymous said...

Hey Shakes, I tried to download your first and second podcast. I was unable to do so - " file not available"...


arati said...

And some POLIPs (Places of Low Indian Probability):

1. Hot dog stands.
2. Whole Foods Market.
3. Expensive restaurants.
4. Football, baseball, basketball, hockey games -- heck any sporting events except maybe soccer, field hockey and cricket.
5. Inside any vehicle that is not a Toyota Camry, Honda Accord or Toyota Sienna.
6. Yoga classes.
7. Gyms.

Shakes said...

hey there with regards to my earlier mixes (my early masterpieces as some would say...although i don't really know who those people are) i removed some of my files from the server to save space...that being said if you try again in about 10min i'll have them up for you. so the links will all be working

twinkletoes said...

we are so darn addicted to your blog now, it's like a constant itch
either it is because we are entirely jobless at the mo (heh heh ) or because your blog is amazing, or both, we haven't figured out yet.
and thankoo once again for the moojic.