Thursday, April 6, 2006

Shakes 101: my verbal kung-fu skills

Often times I find myself walking in the street and people stop me and say "hey, you seem rather cool, how can I be more like you?" or "hi there, are you gonna pay me for that hot dog or are you just going to walk away?" While these quotes are neither relevant nor necessary for this posting, I felt it was good to add some context. For those of you who don't know me but want the full experience, I figured it would be a good thing to regularly jot down some common phrases and sayings that I use.

As my personal lexicon evolves, so can yours. It's really that simple. This week try to use these words/phrases in normal conversation:

1. Tatti - Pronounced "tut-tee" this means shit in Hindi. This is one I picked up from my younger cousin Vivek. If you're like me you should really stetch it out. Example "What a taaattii." I think you'll fondly remember my previous discussion about this in my post Cafe Tatti (3/12/06).
2. Sharaabi - This mean drunkard. It's a classy way of having a toast with drinks. "Hey sharaabi!"
3. Shot! - This is really just an exclamation. Anyone who has been around me longer than a few hours, especially around Indians, has heard me say "shot!" after hearing something startling, riveting, or unexpected.
4. Dishoom - I can't claim this as my own, but I do use it a bit. It's sorta the opposite of "shot!" in that it's usually mentioned when something goes awry.
5. Mayhapsly - I stole this one from my friend Whitney, but it's mine now. For the record she says "mayhaps" and I stepped up my game to add the suffix "-ly." Some people call me space cowboy, some just call me a visionary.
6. Sangwich - This is just a slaughtered pronounciation of "sandwich," that I stole from the comedian Dane Cook.
7. Quite - This is the fast becoming America's favorite adjective. My excessive usage of this is due solely from my assassination faking cousin Vivek. Allow me to demonstrate
    • "This food is quite good. Quiiiite"
    • "This movie is quite long. Quiiite"
    • "He is quite a tatti. Quiiite"
BONUS WORD: Bakri Chod - This is my own hybid curse word. It means someone who likes to procreate with goats, or more simply: goat f#&%er. I like to imagine that this phrase follows along in the tradition of great hybrid curse words, such as "f#&%ard" and "assclown."

I hope this is helpful and be sure to use these when conversing with friends, loved ones, and barnyard animals.


witnee said...

Thanks for the credit on mayhaps but i can't claim it as my own either. So I feel obligated to let everyone know that I stole it from my friend Ronnie.

IndianGoneMAD said...

You can also add: "Rage Karo"...latin\hebrew\hindus for party like a mad-man!!