The symbols of Easter have always been confusing to me. I understand Easter's religous significance but the bunny bewilders me. Where did the Easter bunny come from? I mean I'm pretty sure that there are no rabbits in the Jerusalem. Some people argue that the rabbit represents fertility, Spring and whatnot, but why is the Easter bunny handing out eggs? Rabbits don't even lay eggs.
If you think about it, it's a pretty weird concept that some animal is handing out the eggs of another species. That kinda behavior can get you arrested in most societies. Now I know some of you are probably thinking "Shakes, that's pretty immature, I mean really..." But if I was being really immature I would've said something much more obtuse like "hey here's something funny, bunnies don't make candy, haha, and bunnies don't make eggs, haha." But I didn't. I'm more mature than that.
Although you know what would be funny, spreading a rumor to little children everywhere that bunny turds are made of chocolate.
When I was about 10 years old my parents forced me to go on an Easter Egg hunt in a local park. Now I've done this for many years in my life, but this time I refused. After all I was like twice the age of most of the kids who would be there. For some bizarro reason my parents got really angry and said "There is going to be free candy there, so you're coming!" So my parents forced me into the car, drove me to Mile Square Park, and there I was on a Sunday morning amongst dozens of 5-7 year olds. After lining up behind a line, a man in a bunny suit screamed "Go!" and children ran everywhere, scouring the grounds for free loot...
...meanwhile I just stood there, doing my best immitation of Gandhian passive resistance by not participating. My parents looked at me and said "well pick up the candy!" To which I said "I don't wanna, if you want the candy so bad, you pick it!" Shocked at the turn of events, and the rapidly decreasing availablity of free candy, my parents did the unthinkable... they proceeded to forcibly pull me by the hand around the field and put candy in my basket. It was awful. At this point I did the only rational thing that a person in my position would do, I started to cry.
That is the last time I ever went on an Easter Egg Hunt. The following year the Berlin Wall would fall down and Germany was re-united. Coincidence? I think not.