Thursday, March 23, 2006

I would do anything for love, but I won't do Meatloaf

I often find myself thinking a lot about Meatloaf. The singer, not the food. A song which stuns me everytime I think about it is "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)". The number one question that comes to mind is "what is THAT???" There are numerous claims as to what THAT is, ranging from letting go of a relationship to dying emotionally.

But all these questions really miss the point. The real issue is this: "What do you mean you won't do THAT? How do you even have a choice?". I mean have you ever actually stared at Meatloaf? Look at him. I don't want to sound mean or anything but this guy is no Cary Grant (but then again who is?). Of all the people in the world who can be picky about love, Meatloaf is certainly not one of them. How can Meatloaf be in any position of leverage to determine his love situation or how he gets love? On the contrary Meatloaf should actually look to get love wherever and however he can.

Now perhaps you're a big Meatloaf fan and I've just offended you. You're sitting there, reading this on your computer with your Meatloaf shirt on, gazing longingly at a signed Meatloaf concert poster...and you're thinking "Shekhar, you shmuck, can't you at least see a little bit of desireability in Meatloaf? He has inner beauty. Loads of it."

The answer is still a resounding No.
I often sing at work the line "I would do anythiiiing for looove, but I won't doooo Meatloaf." Others at work agree on my artistic lyric change.

But that being said, let's assume that Meatloaf isn't totally repulsive, how is it possible that he could name only ONE thing that he would not do? Would he really do ANYTHING for love but just not one measly THAT? I would be shocked if this were really true. I know I have a pretty active imagination compared to most people but I could think of a lot scenarios that I would not want to do for love. Let's just say that one of the them involves a giraffe, a slinky, and an ironing board.

If he really wanted a truthful song, he should've simply written "I would do anything for love, but I won't do these following things..." and then the rest of the song would be a list of random non-love worthy things. For example:

  • the aforementioned scene with a giraffe, slinky, and ironing board
  • paying for a First Class ticket on a domestic flight lasting less than 3 hours
  • dropping a baseball off the edge of the John Hancock building in Chicago
  • sprinting around Central Park wearing jeans during summer
  • wearing white after Labor Day

... and so on and so forth. I think you get the picture. Mayhapsly I'm a bit off base by saying all this, but objectively speaking I can confidently say that I'm right. Any rational actor (in the purely economical sense) would agree.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

love the music.....
did u go to Sishya ?

Bansal

Shakes said...

what? i did not goto Sishya...but I know everyone who did who had a graduating class sometime in the late 80s early 90s. i'm gonna be inducted as an honorary member soon...is this amit or vishnu?

Shakes said...
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