Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Bathrooms in Manhattan (aka Tatti Quest in the City)

In my ongoing quest to create a legacy for myself, I was thinking the other day of what would be the most useful thing ever. I came up with these thoughts
  • procedures to actually do "cold" fusion
  • a perpetual motion machine
  • a device that would automatically skin the fur off of racoons
  • OR... a map/list of areas around Manhattan that gave the best places to find a clean bathroom if you really had to go.

Clearly the last one was the most useful and easiest to do. Plus have you ever tried messing with those people from PETA? They're a bunch of animals. I heard that PETA advocates will discourage people from wearing fur by actually going up to them and spray-painting their fur coats! This is terrible!...that's just poor form. I mean it's not as if I goto the zoo or something and go around spray-painting all the animals.

In any case I thought that people are always finding themselves having to go to the bathroom at inopportune times and what could be better than a list of bathroom recommendations? It's handy AND useful. If the list grows to be long enough, I'll set aside it's own blog just for bathroom comments in Manhattan (I already reserved

Perhaps in the future people can send me camera pictures of the bathrooms in question and write a small review. The goal of course is to locate the true Holy Grail of Bathrooms...places where as a guy you would feel comfortable doing both #1 AND/OR #2. (sadly for girls they are not able to be discerning in this matter because the logistics required for both actions is remarkably similar)

By the way, Starbucks do not count as "hidden gems." Everyone already knows about that. We've all used their facilities without buying a beverage or treat at some point in our lives.

Here let me start:

  • Midtown - Grand Central Station food court, lower floor. Sometimes gets crowded but they're relatively easy to get to and seeminly clean (at least the men's are). VERDICT: only if you're doing #1
  • West Village - Washington Square Park. This is most ideal at night time, but you can pee around the benches on the south side of the square with little chance of getting noticed. VERDICT: only if you're doing #1
  • Times Square - Virgin Records. Warning this is only if you are really desperate. This is truly a public restroom in every sense of the word. It's difficult to get to (bottom floor by the "New Age" music) and based on my observations in the men's room, there are only 2 stalls and one functioning urinal. This is really a tatti scene here. But if you gotta go, then you gotta go. VERDICT: only if you're doing #1
  • 34nd & 6th - Macy's. A little difficult to get to since it's on the top floor, but once you get there it's very non-stress public facility. VERDICT: #1 AND #2
Feel free to comment and add your own thoughts and I'll post them properly and periodically update the list.


Bali said...

muhaha muhahah
i can surely help on the best tatti spots in Singers.... but somehow identifying those in NY sound like more fun

pkapur said...

'nuff said.

Shakes said...

ooh, everyone seems to have spotted the Grand Center tatti den....but i answer your question with another question, did anyone else actually recommend literally peeing ON the park except me??? hmmmm? case closed. that's the perspective and maturity that i bring to the table. thank you very much. thank you.